How to Accept Change in Your Life

 

A Personal Review - How to Accept Change In Your Life

Life has been challenging for many of us for at least a few years now. 

What's happening around us, directly or indirectly, can seem overwhelming, especially when the issues touch our lives.

Here are My Five Personal Ideas on How to Accept Change and Move Forward:

1. Resist the Natural Urge to Resist the Change

Whether it's moving, a breakup, or a job change, embrace it. 

I know, that sounds impossible and a bit crazy, right? However, trying to embrace the change helps create a mindset that puts us into task-oriented activity to do the things needed to move forward. Despite it being difficult to go through that change, we are progressing through change instead of bathing in dread.

2. Be Solution Oriented

I'm not one to sit inside a problem for too long. It's just not who I am. Over the past four decades, being a solution-oriented person has carried me through a mountain of problems. 

If you're wondering what solution-oriented means, it means to spend your energy solving the problem instead of digging yourself into a pit of despair. 

Be productive with your mind; write down your options, talk to people who can help with the issue, research, and plan your way out. Take action, whatever that may be, and tackle the change with tasks and fortitude.

3.  Don't Suppress Your Emotions - But Don't Dwell on the Negative Either

This doesn't mean you get to yell and scream at people willy-nilly! And it certainly doesn't mean you get a free ticket to the irrationality show. 

Talk out your changes with others who can help. If you need to cry, find a safe shoulder or a private place where you can go ahead and bawl your eyes out. We know most men won't do this, but men need it most to all. I've raised four sons and personally know the emotional suppression that can take place. Break free from your emotional jail.

Once you've allowed your feelings to escape, focus on moving forward. To get through it, you have to go through it.

4. Accept Responsibility For Where You Are in Your Life

For adults, where we are in our life is a result of every choice we've made. That may seem a bit harsh, especially when we've had outside circumstances shape our lives. The operative word there is "shape."

Once we enter adulthood, every choice we make forms who we are; friends, where we live, how we live, schooling, work, relationships. Every one of these areas involves a choice. 

I've long ago come to terms with the fact that I am where I am, problems and all, because of every choice I've made. As much as I like to share my successes, I've accepted that my choices created my world, both good and bad; and yes, there have been some not-so-good times.

I remember sitting at the dinner table with my sons and throwing out this point about accepting responsibility for where you are in life; you should have seen their eyes widen! 

Most of us are rarely ready to accept responsibility for everything in our life until we really think about it and what that means. I'm here today because of series of decisions, or lack of decisions that I made and didn't make. Period.

This can be a freeing mental experience as well. Accepting responsibility has helped to point me in better directions and helped me to cope with adversity with grit. 

5. Choose Your Words Carefully While Going Through Change

The self-fulfilling prophecy is a real thing. The words we speak affect us. While you're going through life's changes, avoid words like hate, hurts, no way, can't, won't, ahole, and any other words that don't serve the solution or move you forward. The only exception to this is when you're having that all-important emotional release moment(s) described in point number three. 

When having a tough time, try 'opposite day.' I use this technique quite often. If inside I'm feeling apprehensive about an upcoming change or problem and all that is real is telling me I should wallow in the depths of despair, I project the polar opposite. 

I do opposite-day until good feelings become a natural feeling. Since I've practiced this so much, the change in my emotions will happen within an hour or less. It may take you longer to go through the faking it process, but you'll eventually master this.

Remember this one thing if nothing else at all;

"Don't let people rent space in your head" - Be your own inner voice, fight for your true self, lead with love and compassion, even when you're not getting any in return. Do it for the greater good. You're part of that greater good as well.

Additional Personal Guidance For Life:

10 Ways to Be Happy Even When Life is a Bucket of Lemons

Top 10 Ways to Manage Stress and Anger

Disclaimer: This is not meant to be medical advice and is not meant to be professional mental advice. I'm not a doctor. I'm just a mom sharing my decades of personal life experience.

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Life's Changing Perspectives - A Twenty Year Review Through Poems

How have you changed in twenty years?

I've declared 2020 the year of Body, Mind, and Spirit, with the main focus being on feeding my spirit to bring all aspects of my life into balance.

Remember Who I Am - Life Reflections Then and Now

Nearly twenty years ago, I wrote a poem called, "Remember Who I Am." The poem isn't about begging to be remembered, but rather about acknowledging the mistakes I made in life, and how ultimately I learned from those mistakes.

Looking back twenty years ago, when the video poem featured below was written, I clearly see my personal growth since that point in time.

I'm a different person at 59 years old than I was in my 30s. I suspect that's quite normal. God willing, if I get to 80 years old, I imagine my outlook will further change.

The most significant change inside of me is a grander understanding of inner peace, and what inner peace truly is.

There's so much I want to type about inner peace right now, but honestly, I don't think I can explain it? Let me say it this way, with these powerful words:

 "In the end, everything WILL be O.K."  - I get this now.

We're still dealing with some of the same life struggles we faced when I was in my thirties. Even though those struggles are still quite significant, I now see how mundane they are, and rarely pray on those. In the grand scheme of life, they don't rate.

When I was in church last week, I started thinking about my prayers from those times, and how I've grown to understand that the secret to solutions is within us - and that prayers for souls, the human condition, our community, those we love, and visualizing the good, is where ultimate peace rests.

I feel I'm awake now. 

As though I've been handed a book with some of life's secrets in them. I'm looking forward to the next book in twenty more years if I'm so blessed.

I've mastered forgiveness.

Without giving away anything overtly personal, I can unequivocally state, I've got this one down. What I understand most about forgiveness is that it's not up to me to 'forgive' others. It's lessons learned, from all sides.

I approach the mistakes others make that hurt me, family, friends, or strangers, as people who are either lost, dark, or learning at their pace. Life is school, and some of us are in pre-school while others have PhDs. No judging. Letting go.

Also, I don't agree with the saying, "I forgive, but I'll never forget."  For me, if I have to hold any grudge, including 'never forgetting,' it's not forgiveness. You can read a bit more about this in an article I wrote, many years ago called, "The Secret to Life."

Despite life's changes over the past twenty years, the words to this poem I wrote so long ago, still stand.

Angels on Duty - Starting Our Day with a Helping Hand

Again, I wrote this one about twenty years ago. Of all the poems I've written over the past fifty years, this is one of my favorites.

The poem was written to create a visual of how Angels begin their daily work, helping us, as soon as we wake up.

It's about waking up in the morning, swinging your legs over the edge of the bed, bending over with your hands over your face, as you pause thinking about the challenges you face today, and wondering if you have the strength to do it. Without knowing, there's an Angel present, whispering affirmations, and confirmations that 'everything will be ok' and that you're not alone, and yes, you can do it.

Towards the end of last year, I achieved a bucket list item: I published a book featuring 50 years of my poems. Change, perspective, growth - it's all good. #bethechange #spreadthewordofgood

We Will Have Morning Smiles by Barbara Tremblay Cipak

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Do I Really Want to Sell My Home? That is the Question in the Spring Air?

Do You Really Want to Sell Your Home? Or Do You Just
Need a Change? Heart Rug Featured Here

Don't Let Spring Push You Into Selling Your Home Just Because You're Getting that 'Fresh-Air Fresh-Start Itch'

Twenty-five plus years in Real-Estate allowed me to see first hand the many reasons people decide to sell their home. Believe it or not, boredom of environment or needing a change was one of those reasons; especially during spring time when that 'new beginning' feeling hits!

If you've ever sold a home, you've probably received the standard good advice to 'neutralize' your color schemes. The suggestions may have also included, to create a consistent flow between spaces, to repaint with neutral colors, to de-clutter, to remove large furniture in small spaces, and most of all, to limit patterns and prints where possible. Having your home professionally staged may have also been talked about ... good advice.

However, if the only reason you're selling your home is because you're feeling the need for change, then the first thing you should do to Fully Test that urge is to re-arrange a room, and if

Use Scenery Drapes to Create a New Focal Point
They allow you to add color and interest
 without painting - Available at BeddingInn

affordable, change it up by adding MORE color and interest

Pick colors and patterns that you and your family like. Throw out 'the house selling rule book' (to a point!), and decorate in a way that reflects your own personal likes. 

If you've never attempted to work with color and pattern, here you'll see an example of  how to choose a patterned couch with a patterned rug. It also features a handy short video on mixing color with pattern.

When spending a lot of money isn't an option, keep the room changes simple, try these five things first:

1. Repaint the room
2. Rearrange the furniture
3. Create a new focal point
4. Add accessories
5. and sorry, clean and de-clutter

Focus on the things you like, but start first with 'the mood' you want to create; airy, fun, electric, cozy, serious ... you get the picture. Even if your existing pieces don't fit into your mood choice, use the things you add to do that task; paint, pillows, blankets, rugs, window coverings, or if you're going all out, furniture.

If you're thinking this is too much work, then think about all the time, expense, and energy it will take to sell your home. When you're just not sure what to do .. to stay or to go .. redo at least one room in the home before you make that larger choice to sell. 

Oh, and if you re-decorate that one room with neutral tones only because you think that's practical for resale, well, you're subconsciously out the door already! So resist that, and decorate that room in your own true funky fashion. Give it your touch.

When you're finally ready to sell, then go neutral-mad. But remember to test yourself with this re-do challenge, and ask yourself, do I really want to sell my home?

By Barbara Tremblay Cipak

Funkthishouse.com

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How to Make Changes in Life - A Famous Quote that Gives Us the Answer

Available on Amazon

A Famous and Wise Quote about How to Create Change in Life

“You never change things by fighting the existing reality; to change something, build a new model that makes the existing model obsolete” by R. Buckminster Fuller

Despite the fact that Richard Buckminster Fuller isn't from our time, his wise words still resonate deeply. Also known as 'Bucky' he was born in 1895 and passed away in 1983 at the age of 87. His extensive resume includes American Architect, Systems Theorist, Author, Designer and Inventor.

In Today's World of Challenges, Buckminster's Quote Applies More Than Ever Doesn't It?

In situations that seem hopeless or all consuming, there’s really only one way out:

'to create a new situation that makes the existing situation obsolete'

This logical approach applies to every area of life:

• Relationships - We aren't getting along? Stop fighting the situation and person, and build a new road
• Work - We have problems, have gotten laid off, or the Boss is on our case; instead of going into fight mode, we build a new road
• World Conflicts - Solve the problems by developing new ideas that make the existing problems obsolete

Best of all, while we're creating that new model, we're also creating a new focus and purpose.

Instead of thinking of a way to change the current situation, Fuller's suggestion is to take the focus off the problem. If it's possible to forget it, forget it, and begin anew by building that new plan, that new approach.

Imagine what we could accomplish if we put down those spinning wheels and simply decide to build a new path.

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Today I'm Gonna Try and Change the World

Do you believe you can change the world?

When you listen to the lyrics of Canadian Country Artist, Johnny Reid's song 'Today I'm Gonna Try and Change the World', you'll hear how the smallest actions by one person to another can make the biggest difference. It's in the giving that we receive.

(Lyrics) "I'm gonna say hello to my neighbor, Greet him with a smile, Shake the hand of a stranger, Sit and talk for a while, Tell someone I love them from the bottom of my heart"

Most of us understand that it's the little things we do in a day that make the biggest impact, 

Photo: Zazzle.com/OriginalQuotes

especially for those we love.

The lyrics to this country song speak about how today he's going to greet his neighbor with a smile and thinking about it, sometimes our face is void of a smile without our even being aware of it. We're not intentionally being unkind, it's often because we're preoccupied or stressed.

If we began to look at smiling the way we look at taking a vitamin, brushing our teeth or any other essential daily activity, we just might change the world.  

We need a viral social campaign called 'Giving out Smiles to Change the World' 

Can you imagine millions or even billions of people doing this! Picture this, no matter our struggles or stresses, we look up at one, or more than one person, every single day then kindly acknowledge them with a big toothy grin or a compassionate smile that connects our eyes to theirs! The sheer collective energy this would generate from people all over the world could probably fuel a country ... similar to the concept presented in the popular kid's movie, 'Monsters Inc.'

Even the most cynical among us feel a sense of possibility with a simple smile or hug. The power of good out weighs the power of bad by so much that I'll go out on a limb and say, it's immeasurable. Yes we've all been through terrible things in our lives, some more than others, but none of us get out alive without a lesson to learn, a contribution to make or a hand to hold. No one is perfect, we're all students of the human condition.

Johnny Reid's uncomplicated lyrics get straight to the message...Today he's going to try and change the world. You can find more about Johnny's terrific award winning music on his website, and you can find this song for download here.

Do You Have A Passion for Country Music?

Country Music can be counted on to deliver poignant life lessons and you'll find another one in a country music fan review written by Ruth Cox, on Aaron Tippin's song 'Stand for Something Right Against Wrong'. Ruth's review is a good example of how you too can write about country music. If you're passionate about a song or a country artist, and feel compelled to write about it, be sure to share it on the Country Music Fan Review Facebook Page! That way, I'll be able to read it and share it with others!

Go forth and smile ... changing the world requires a paradigm shift of monumental proportions started by just one person. Thank you Mr. Johnny Reid.

Written by Barbara Tremblay Cipak
Country Music Reviewer

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