How to Accept Change in Your Life

 

A Personal Review - How to Accept Change In Your Life

Life has been challenging for many of us for at least a few years now. 

What's happening around us, directly or indirectly, can seem overwhelming, especially when the issues touch our lives.

Here are My Five Personal Ideas on How to Accept Change and Move Forward:

1. Resist the Natural Urge to Resist the Change

Whether it's moving, a breakup, or a job change, embrace it. 

I know, that sounds impossible and a bit crazy, right? However, trying to embrace the change helps create a mindset that puts us into task-oriented activity to do the things needed to move forward. Despite it being difficult to go through that change, we are progressing through change instead of bathing in dread.

2. Be Solution Oriented

I'm not one to sit inside a problem for too long. It's just not who I am. Over the past four decades, being a solution-oriented person has carried me through a mountain of problems. 

If you're wondering what solution-oriented means, it means to spend your energy solving the problem instead of digging yourself into a pit of despair. 

Be productive with your mind; write down your options, talk to people who can help with the issue, research, and plan your way out. Take action, whatever that may be, and tackle the change with tasks and fortitude.

3.  Don't Suppress Your Emotions - But Don't Dwell on the Negative Either

This doesn't mean you get to yell and scream at people willy-nilly! And it certainly doesn't mean you get a free ticket to the irrationality show. 

Talk out your changes with others who can help. If you need to cry, find a safe shoulder or a private place where you can go ahead and bawl your eyes out. We know most men won't do this, but men need it most to all. I've raised four sons and personally know the emotional suppression that can take place. Break free from your emotional jail.

Once you've allowed your feelings to escape, focus on moving forward. To get through it, you have to go through it.

4. Accept Responsibility For Where You Are in Your Life

For adults, where we are in our life is a result of every choice we've made. That may seem a bit harsh, especially when we've had outside circumstances shape our lives. The operative word there is "shape."

Once we enter adulthood, every choice we make forms who we are; friends, where we live, how we live, schooling, work, relationships. Every one of these areas involves a choice. 

I've long ago come to terms with the fact that I am where I am, problems and all, because of every choice I've made. As much as I like to share my successes, I've accepted that my choices created my world, both good and bad; and yes, there have been some not-so-good times.

I remember sitting at the dinner table with my sons and throwing out this point about accepting responsibility for where you are in life; you should have seen their eyes widen! 

Most of us are rarely ready to accept responsibility for everything in our life until we really think about it and what that means. I'm here today because of series of decisions, or lack of decisions that I made and didn't make. Period.

This can be a freeing mental experience as well. Accepting responsibility has helped to point me in better directions and helped me to cope with adversity with grit. 

5. Choose Your Words Carefully While Going Through Change

The self-fulfilling prophecy is a real thing. The words we speak affect us. While you're going through life's changes, avoid words like hate, hurts, no way, can't, won't, ahole, and any other words that don't serve the solution or move you forward. The only exception to this is when you're having that all-important emotional release moment(s) described in point number three. 

When having a tough time, try 'opposite day.' I use this technique quite often. If inside I'm feeling apprehensive about an upcoming change or problem and all that is real is telling me I should wallow in the depths of despair, I project the polar opposite. 

I do opposite-day until good feelings become a natural feeling. Since I've practiced this so much, the change in my emotions will happen within an hour or less. It may take you longer to go through the faking it process, but you'll eventually master this.

Remember this one thing if nothing else at all;

"Don't let people rent space in your head" - Be your own inner voice, fight for your true self, lead with love and compassion, even when you're not getting any in return. Do it for the greater good. You're part of that greater good as well.

Additional Personal Guidance For Life:

10 Ways to Be Happy Even When Life is a Bucket of Lemons

Top 10 Ways to Manage Stress and Anger

Disclaimer: This is not meant to be medical advice and is not meant to be professional mental advice. I'm not a doctor. I'm just a mom sharing my decades of personal life experience.

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Life's Changing Perspectives - A Twenty Year Review Through Poems

How have you changed in twenty years?

I've declared 2020 the year of Body, Mind, and Spirit, with the main focus on feeding my spirit to balance all aspects of my life.

Remember Who I Am - Life Reflections Then and Now

Nearly twenty years ago, I wrote a poem called "Remember Who I Am." The poem isn't about begging to be remembered but rather about acknowledging the mistakes I made in life and how, ultimately, I learned from those mistakes.

Looking back to twenty years ago, when the video poem featured below was written, I can see my personal growth.

I'm a different person at 59 years old than I was in my 30s. I suspect that's quite normal. God willing, if I get to 80, I imagine my outlook will change further.

The most significant change inside me is a grander understanding of inner peace and what inner peace truly is.

There's so much I want to type about inner peace right now, but honestly, I don't think I can explain it? Let me say it this way with these powerful words:

 "In the end, everything WILL be O.K."  - I get this now.

We're still dealing with some of the same life struggles we faced when I was in my thirties. Even though those struggles are still quite significant, I now see how mundane they are and rarely pray about them. In the grand scheme of life, they don't rate.

When I was in church last week, I started thinking about my prayers from those times and how I've grown to understand that the secret to solutions is within us - and that prayers for souls, the human condition, our community, those we love, and visualizing the good, is where ultimate peace rests.

I feel I'm awake now. 

As though I'd been handed a book with some of life's secrets in it. If I'm so blessed, I'm looking forward to the next book in twenty more years.

I've mastered forgiveness.

I can unequivocally state that I've got this one down without giving away anything overtly personal. What I understand most about forgiveness is that it's not up to me to 'forgive' others. It's lessons learned from all sides.

I approach the mistakes others make that hurt me, family, friends, or strangers as people who are either lost, dark, or learning at their own pace. Life is school; some of us are in pre-school while others have PhDs. No judging. Letting go.

Also, I disagree with the saying, "I forgive, but I'll never forget."  If I have to hold any grudge, including 'never forgetting,' it's not forgiveness. You can read more about this in an article I wrote many years ago called "The Secret to Life."

Despite life's changes over the past twenty years, the words to this poem I wrote so long ago still stand.

Angels on Duty - Starting Our Day with a Helping Hand

Again, I wrote this one about twenty years ago. Of all the poems I've written over the past fifty years, this is one of my favorites.

The poem was written to visualize how Angels begin their daily work, helping us as soon as we wake up.

It's about waking up in the morning, swinging your legs over the edge of the bed, bending over with your hands over your face as you pause, thinking about the challenges you face today, and wondering if you have the strength to do it. Without knowing, there's an Angel present, whispering affirmations and confirmations that 'everything will be okay' and that you're not alone, and yes, you can do it.

Towards the end of last year, I achieved a bucket list item: I published a book featuring 50 years of my poems. Change, perspective, growth - it's all good. #bethechange #spreadthewordofgood

We Will Have Morning Smiles by Barbara Tremblay Cipak

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Do I Really Want to Sell My Home? That is the Question in the Spring Air?

Don't Let Spring Push You Into Selling Your Home Just Because You're Getting that 'Fresh-Air Fresh-Start Itch'

Twenty-five-plus years in real estate allowed me to see firsthand the many reasons people decide to sell their homes. Believe it or not, the boredom of the environment or needing a change was one of those reasons, especially during springtime when that 'new beginning' feeling hits!

If you've ever sold a home, you've probably received the standard good advice to 'neutralize' your color schemes. The suggestions may have also included creating a consistent flow between spaces, repainting with neutral colors, de-cluttering, removing large furniture in small spaces, and limiting patterns and prints where possible. Having your home professionally staged may have also been talked about ... good advice.

However, if the only reason you're selling your home is that you're feeling the need for change, then the first thing you should do to Fully Test that urge is to rearrange a room and, if affordable, change it up by adding MORE color and interest.

Pick colors and patterns that you and your family like. Throw out 'the house selling rule book' (to a point!), and decorate in a way that reflects your personal likes. 

If you've never attempted to work with color and pattern, here is an example of choosing a patterned couch with a patterned rug. It also features a handy short video on mixing color with pattern.

When spending a lot of money isn't an option, keep the room changes simply; try these five things first:

1. Repaint the room
2. Rearrange the furniture
3. Create a new focal point
4. Add accessories
5. and sorry, clean and de-clutter

Focus on what you like, but start with 'the mood' you want to create: airy, fun, electric, cozy, serious ... you get the picture. Even if your existing pieces don't fit your mood choice, use what you add to do that task: paint, pillows, blankets, rugs, window coverings, or, if you're going all out, furniture.

If you think this is too much work, think about all the time, expense, and energy it will take to sell your home. When you're just trying to figure out what to do .. to stay or to go .. redo at least one room in the house before you make that larger choice to sell. 

If you re-decorate that one room with neutral tones only because you think that's practical for resale, you're subconsciously out the door already! So resist that and decorate that room in your own funky fashion. Give it your touch.

When you're finally ready to sell, then go neutral-mad. But remember to test yourself with this redo challenge, and ask yourself, do I really want to sell my home?

By Barbara Tremblay Cipak

Funkthishouse.com

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How to Make Changes in Life - A Famous Quote that Gives Us the Answer

Available on Amazon

A Famous and Wise Quote about How to Create Change in Life

“You never change things by fighting the existing reality; to change something, build a new model that makes the existing model obsolete” by R. Buckminster Fuller

Despite the fact that Richard Buckminster Fuller isn't from our time, his wise words still resonate deeply. Also known as 'Bucky' he was born in 1895 and passed away in 1983 at the age of 87. His extensive resume includes American Architect, Systems Theorist, Author, Designer and Inventor.

In Today's World of Challenges, Buckminster's Quote Applies More Than Ever Doesn't It?

In situations that seem hopeless or all consuming, there’s really only one way out:

'to create a new situation that makes the existing situation obsolete'

This logical approach applies to every area of life:

• Relationships - We aren't getting along? Stop fighting the situation and person, and build a new road
• Work - We have problems, have gotten laid off, or the Boss is on our case; instead of going into fight mode, we build a new road
• World Conflicts - Solve the problems by developing new ideas that make the existing problems obsolete

Best of all, while we're creating that new model, we're also creating a new focus and purpose.

Instead of thinking of a way to change the current situation, Fuller's suggestion is to take the focus off the problem. If it's possible to forget it, forget it, and begin anew by building that new plan, that new approach.

Imagine what we could accomplish if we put down those spinning wheels and simply decide to build a new path.

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Today I'm Gonna Try and Change the World

Do you believe you can change the world?

When you listen to the lyrics of Canadian Country Artist Johnny Reid's song 'Today I'm Gonna Try and Change the World,' you'll hear how the most minor actions by one person to another can make the most significant difference. It's in the giving that we receive.

(Lyrics) "I'm gonna say hello to my neighbor, Greet him with a smile, Shake the hand of a stranger, Sit and talk for a while, Tell someone I love them from the bottom of my heart"

Most of us understand that it's the little things we do in a day that make the most significant impact, 

especially for those we love.

The lyrics to this country song speak about how today he's going to greet his neighbor with a smile, and thinking about it, sometimes our face is void of a smile without our even being aware of it. We're not intentionally being unkind; it's often because we're preoccupied or stressed.

If we look at smiling the way we look at taking a vitamin, brushing our teeth, or any other essential daily activity, we might change the world.  

We need a viral social campaign called 'Giving out Smiles to Change the World' 

Can you imagine millions or even billions of people doing this! Picture this: no matter our struggles or stresses, we look up at one or more than one person every single day, then kindly acknowledge them with a big toothy grin or a compassionate smile that connects our eyes to theirs! The sheer collective energy this would generate from people worldwide could fuel a country similar to the concept presented in the popular kid's movie, 'Monsters Inc.'

Even the most cynical among us feel a sense of possibility with a simple smile or hug. The power of good outweighs the power of bad so much that I'll go out on a limb and say it's immeasurable. Yes, we've all been through terrible things in our lives, some more than others, but none of us get out alive without a lesson to learn, a contribution to make, or a hand to hold. No one is perfect; we're all students of the human condition.

Johnny Reid's uncomplicated lyrics get straight to the message...Today, he's going to try and change the world. You can find more about Johnny's terrific award-winning music on his website; this song is for download here.

Go forth and smile ... changing the world requires a paradigm shift of monumental proportions started by just one person. Thank you, Mr. Johnny Reid.

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