Showing posts with label solving problems. Show all posts
Showing posts with label solving problems. Show all posts

Sunday, November 7, 2021

Do You Ever Feel Indifferent About Things In Your Life - A Personal Diary Entry

A Personal Diary Entry - Do You Ever Feel Indifferent?

How do you handle the feeling of indifference? 

I'm even reluctant to write about this mood!

Why am I reluctant to write about it? Apparently, I've heard and read that indifference is one of the least attractive and least productive emotions.

The Dictionary Definition of Indifference: "Lack of interest, concern, or sympathy"

In no-way do I feel a lack of sympathy for others when I'm feeling indifferent! (just wanted to put that out there)

Indifference About A Day, A Direction, Feeling a Lack of Control - That's The Indifference I'm Speaking About

Some days, not often, but a little more often lately, I feel a complete lack of control.

I know, I know, I know .... you're about to tell me that's a good thing.

Well, I agree; at times, that can undoubtedly be a good thing.

However, this lack of control brings out that dreaded word and feeling, "whatever." 

The Not-Knowing is Suppose to Be a Good Thing, Right?

Do you think, lack of control and not knowing what's ahead is a good thing? Do you accept those moments in your life for what they are ... hopefully a temporary blip?

For me, it seems when things are somewhat overwhelming and a bit out of control, I get a little bit "indifferent." I get a sort of "so what" "whatever" feeling. I honestly despise that feeling. In my opinion, a lack of concern about a situation is unproductive.

Could it be a survival mechanism? Nah, I just think it's a newer feeling for me, and I have to learn to process it because I've rarely felt this way about life.

Since I'm solution-oriented, feeling "blah-what-ever" about a life issue annoys me further! I prefer to move forward and resolve matters ... not wallow in "whatevers."

The good thing about not knowing the answers and the resulting indifference is being forced to practice patience and accept that I can't control everything.  Things have to resolve themselves in their own good time.

Two Things We Cannot Change: Natural Law and Other People

Most of us who have lived long enough already know and understand that we cannot change others. Goodness knows it took me into my thirties (a long time ago) to figure that one out.

However, I must ensure I don't get too indifferent about situations I cannot change or control lately. I'm not a heartless person and never want that unkind trait to infect my persona. It won't, but holy-hannah feeling indifferent really does suck! 

What Do You Do to Cope With and Manage Your Feelings?

My entire life, I've written poetry. I recently published 50 years of poems on Amazon. I've been writing poems since I was 8 years old and decided it was time to assemble a book.

To cope, do you write? Read? Exercise? Sleep? Sing? Dance? Travel? 

So today, I'm feeling indifferent (blah); this too shall pass.

Oh, by the way, what I've been doing to combat this unproductive feeling? Binge-watching Prime and Netflix series. Yah, I know, everything in moderation :)

Additional Personal Diary Entries:

Do You Have Any Regrets in Life?

Everything Will Be OK?

How to Accept Change in Life

10 Ways to Be Happy Even When Life Sucks

Ten Ways to Handle Stress and Anger





Note: The author may receive a commission from purchases made using links found in this article. “As an Amazon Associate I (we) earn from qualifying purchases.”


FOLLOW US ON:

Sunday, September 5, 2021

How to Accept Change in Your Life

 

A Personal Review - How to Accept Change In Your Life

Life has been challenging for many of us for at least a few years now. 

What's happening around us, directly or indirectly, can seem overwhelming, especially when the issues touch our lives.

Here are My Five Personal Ideas on How to Accept Change and Move Forward:

1. Resist the Natural Urge to Resist the Change

Whether it's moving, a breakup, or a job change, embrace it. 

I know, that sounds impossible and a bit crazy, right? However, trying to embrace the change helps create a mindset that puts us into task-oriented activity to do the things needed to move forward. Despite it being difficult to go through that change, we are progressing through change instead of bathing in dread.


2. Be Solution Oriented

I'm not one to sit inside a problem for too long. It's just not who I am. Over the past four decades, being a solution-oriented person has carried me through a mountain of problems. 

If you're wondering what solution-oriented means, it means to spend your energy solving the problem instead of digging yourself into a pit of despair. 

Be productive with your mind; write down your options, talk to people who can help with the issue, research, and plan your way out. Take action, whatever that may be, and tackle the change with tasks and fortitude.


3.  Don't Suppress Your Emotions - But Don't Dwell on the Negative Either

This doesn't mean you get to yell and scream at people willy-nilly! And it certainly doesn't mean you get a free ticket to the irrationality show. 

Talk out your changes with others who can help. If you need to cry, find a safe shoulder or a private place where you can go ahead and bawl your eyes out. We know most men won't do this, but men need it most to all. I've raised four sons and personally know the emotional suppression that can take place. Break free from your emotional jail.

Once you've allowed your feelings to escape, focus on moving forward. To get through it, you have to go through it.


4. Accept Responsibility For Where You Are in Your Life

For adults, where we are in our life is a result of every choice we've made. That may seem a bit harsh, especially when we've had outside circumstances shape our lives. The operative word there is "shape."

Once we enter adulthood, every choice we make forms who we are; friends, where we live, how we live, schooling, work, relationships. Every one of these areas involves a choice. 

I've long ago come to terms with the fact that I am where I am, problems and all, because of every choice I've made. As much as I like to share my successes, I've accepted that my choices created my world, both good and bad; and yes, there have been some not-so-good times.

I remember sitting at the dinner table with my sons and throwing out this point about accepting responsibility for where you are in life; you should have seen their eyes widen! 

Most of us are rarely ready to accept responsibility for everything in our life until we really think about it and what that means. I'm here today because of series of decisions, or lack of decisions that I made and didn't make. Period.

This can be a freeing mental experience as well. Accepting responsibility has helped to point me in better directions and helped me to cope with adversity with grit. 


5. Choose Your Words Carefully While Going Through Change

The self-fulfilling prophecy is a real thing. The words we speak affect us. While you're going through life's changes, avoid words like hate, hurts, no way, can't, won't, ahole, and any other words that don't serve the solution or move you forward. The only exception to this is when you're having that all-important emotional release moment(s) described in point number three. 

When having a tough time, try 'opposite day.' I use this technique quite often. If inside I'm feeling apprehensive about an upcoming change or problem and all that is real is telling me I should wallow in the depths of despair, I project the polar opposite. 

I do opposite-day until good feelings become a natural feeling. Since I've practiced this so much, the change in my emotions will happen within an hour or less. It may take you longer to go through the faking it process, but you'll eventually master this.

Remember this one thing if nothing else at all;

"Don't let people rent space in your head" - Be your own inner voice, fight for your true self, lead with love and compassion, even when you're not getting any in return. Do it for the greater good. You're part of that greater good as well.

Additional Personal Guidance For Life:

10 Ways to Be Happy Even When Life is a Bucket of Lemons

Top 10 Ways to Manage Stress and Anger

Disclaimer: This is not meant to be medical advice and is not meant to be professional mental advice. I'm not a doctor. I'm just a mom sharing my decades of personal life experience.




Note: The author may receive a commission from purchases made using links found in this article. “As an Amazon Associate I (we) earn from qualifying purchases.”


FOLLOW US ON:

Sunday, August 22, 2021

My Top Ten Ways to Manage Stress and Anger

A Personal Review of Ten Ways to Manage Stress and Anger

Unfortunately, nobody gets to live a stress-free life.

Personally speaking, life has handed me buckets of stress. Keeping myself centered has been an active, neverending exercise.

My Top Ten Ways to Manage Stress & Anger

1. Deep Breathing - One of My Personal Faves

What's great about this technique is, you can do it anywhere. If you're out-and-about and are dealing with a difficult situation or even have a stressful thought, start taking those slow deep breaths. I like to do this to the count of six; count slowly to six as you breathe in and slowly to six as you breathe out.


2. Step Away From the Situation

If you're able to physically remove yourself from a stressful situation, then do it. Take a short walk or remove yourself from the space where the problem or stress persists. If you have to be around the person, or problem, revert to quiet deep breathing exercises. Just focus on your breath so that you're not consumed with negative thoughts. Ultimately walking away, and deep breathing provides you with a distraction. 

The "twenty-four hour rule" is a calming method used in sports with parents. Give it twenty-four hours before you complain to the coach about a matter pertaining to your child. Time offers perspective. It's a terrific technique for all aspects of life.


3. Body Movement - One of My Personal Faves

For me, this one works best most of the time. I need to burn off my stress, which normally involves a bike ride or pedaling like a maniac on the Cubii, conveniently located under my desk. By the way, if you haven't heard of the Cubii, I highly recommend it.


4. Distraction

This one works well for a friend of mine. She's able to perform a task, read, or watch a movie to get her mind off a stressful situation. For me, this doesn't work. However, if you're able to free your mind of a problem using a movie or book as a distraction, go for it!


5. Pray for Other People - One of My Personal Faves

I use this one most of the time. Even though I'm in a stressful situation, I pray for others, and I pray continuously. I go through each person individually, asking for specific things about their life and their needs. By taking the focus off of myself, I find peace and a bit more understanding. 


6. Listen to Music or Motivational Videos or Audio Books

Play positive music or messages. Use headphones to block out the rest of the world. The negativity surrounding us can be overwhelming, never mind adding a stressful moment or event to the mix! Battle that with positive words. Fight the dark energy with light energy.


7. Take Stock of Your Own Mistakes and Faults

I do practice this one. When I'm upset with another person, I actively remember my own mistakes throughout life, and remind myself of my flaws. I try very hard not to give myself anger-freebies and actively reflect upon the mistakes I've made throughout life. When I think about my faults, I have kinder thoughts about the person I'm upset with.


8. Put the Problem in Perspective

Most of us tend to blow up an issue into tangents when pissed off with another person. We start thinking about every other little thing the person did as well as the immediate issue. I think women tend to do this more? When I'm upset about one particular issue, after fuming for a bit, I remember to focus on the issue that needs tending; not a lifetime of issues. Even if other matters have been brushed under the table for a future date to solve, I try to remember to focus on the issue at hand. Not easy.


9. It's O.K. To Be Mad for a While

Allow yourself the time you need to get past the anger stage. You have a right to go through this step! When I'm stressed or upset, especially if it involves another person, I let myself feel those emotions so that I can get past them. When I'm ready, I practice many of the tips I featured above; deep breathing, prayer, music, and so on.


10. When Possible Seek a Solution

Not all problems have a solution, but some do. When you've regrouped and you're past the anger stage, begin the solution process. Unfortunately, only you know what that is. I use this one measure as a guide; if the solution is mutual it's potentially a good start.

Bonus Tip Number 11If you are wrong, apologize. 

Disclaimer: I'm not a doctor. This isn't professional medical advice. Like most moms, I'm just a mother and grandmother with life experience, sharing my personal tips and discoveries. 




Note: The author may receive a commission from purchases made using links found in this article. “As an Amazon Associate I (we) earn from qualifying purchases.”


FOLLOW US ON:
Review This Reviews Quick View Home Page

The Review This Contributors



Cynthia SylvestermouseCynthia SylvestermouseDawn Rae BDawn Rae BMary Beth - mbgphotoMary Beth - mbgphotoBrite-IdeasBrite-IdeasWednesday ElfWednesday ElfOlivia MorrisOlivia MorrisRenaissanceWoman2010RenaissanceWomanLou16Lou16The Savvy AgeThe Savvy AgeMargaret SchindelMargaret SchindelRaintree AnnieRaintree AnnieTreasures by BrendaTreasures by BrendaSam MonacoSam MonacoBarbRadBarbRadBev OwensBev OwensBuckHawkBuckHawkDecoratingforEventsDecoratingforEventsHeather426Heather426Coletta TeskeColetta TeskeMissMerFaeryMissMerFaeryMickie_GMickie_G



Review This is Dedicated to the
Memory of Our Beloved Friend and Fellow Contributor

Susan DeppnerSusan Deppner


We may be apart, but
You Are Not Forgotten





“As an Amazon Associate I (we) earn from purchases.” Disclosure Statement

X