Sunday, October 31, 2021

Do You Have Any Regrets in Life? - A Personal Diary Entry

 

Do You Have Any Regrets in Life? A Personal Diary Entry

Here on ReviewThisReviews, I've made several personal diary entries. My latest entry was "Everything Will Be OK." Today I'm wondering whether you have regrets in life?

I'll Go First - Do I Have Any Regrets in Life?

Yes. I have regrets. Inside, I'm a happy person; no matter the obstacles I've faced, I have been able to maintain a peaceful soul. I've had to deal with being let down multiple times by someone close to me. It hasn't been easy. I'm not one to whine, so I hope this doesn't come across as whining - I don't mean to sound like a whiner. I accept full responsibility for where I am in life. Every decision has led me here, so I'm equally responsible for the good and the bad.

There have been good days and bad days in my life - just like everyone else on earth - however, I've tolerated a lot in my life. I've been disappointed and treated without regard at times. I've gotten through it, and I've held onto myself through the drama and disrespect.

The way I've gotten through my hurt is to not become that which I rail against. Fortunately, I'm not a vengeful person or one who seeks revenge. Thank goodness for that! I know a few vindictive people, and I honestly believe that's an unhealthy way to live. However, who am I to judge. For me, I need to get as far away in behavior from the behavior that hurt me. I don't want to become that person who intentionally hurts others out of revenge.

A friend of mine once relayed this quote to me, "hurt people, hurt people." That's not who I want to be. That's not who I am.

So What Do I Do With This Regret? - What Do You Do With Yours, If You Have Any?

To say I don't struggle with it would be a lie. However, I turn the pain and the regret into something constructive. I focus on the good, and I focus on love. I know this sounds too simple, but for now, that's what I do. 

We can't fix other people. They have to step up. What I've learned over the years is that I can't make that happen - the person who does the hurting has to take responsibility and, God willing, change. I'm at the point where I don't expect change and don't try to make it happen. I work on myself and send love.

If I Could Go Back in Time and Change My Destiny, Would I? Would You?

I don't know. Part of me says yes I would, then another part of me reflects on who I have become "inside," and I'm really very proud of the person I am today; strong, tenacious, forgiving, filled with love despite the hurt, compassionate, tolerate and I like to think that I'm kind. Sorry, I don't mean to toot my own horn, lol - I'm just expressing what all this pain has taught me. So I'm not sure about whether I would change my stars. Some days it's a blatant yes, but for the most part, I'm not sure.

How about you?

I've written poetry for over 50 years and put my life out there for everyone to read. My book, We Will Have Morning Smiles,  is available on Amazon. I started to write at eight years old and continued through my entire life. The writing process, as those of you who write know, is therapeutic. My whole life is on display, via poems, in that book.

Here's a video poem that reflects one of the poems in my book - I think this one speaks to the topic of this article. If you're reading this via mobile, you can see it here.

Remember Who I Am - A Video Poem




In the end, I hope for the best, plan for the worst, but always hold onto who I am and keep my heart filled with love. How about you?



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14 comments:

  1. Oh Barbara, I can so relate. Everyone has regrets I'm sure, I know for sure that I have had a few over my years. What we do with those regrets is what motivates a lot of people. Looking on the bright side and keeping the love center and front in your life will help you everytime. Thank you for your lovely insights and your experiences, I'm sure they will help someone else who is feeling a little bit down for whatever reason. <3

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    1. Olivia, your decades of life experience are reflected here - you are so right about keeping love front and center - it doesn't solve the immediate problems or thoughts but I do believe it can help a great deal with moving forward

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  2. You are a lovely person Barbara! One I feel blessed to know and get to work with daily. There are times when I am tired, stressed, or distressed and I see one of your posts and am instantly lifted or encouraged. As for those who hurt us, it is always the people we love the most who have the power to hurt us most deep inside. None of us walk through our own journey without pain. It is truly how we respond to that pain that matters the most and you stand as an excellent example of how to respond. I like your friends quote, "hurt people, hurt people." It is true. When any creature is hurting, they often lash out at whoever is closest to them, and that does not always mean in proximity. It frequently means the one they are close enough to that they know they will be loved and forgiven regardless. As for regrets, of course I have regrets. Regrets for things I have not done as well as things I have done.

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    1. Beautifully said. Your commonsense and thoughtful nature ring through the keyboard - it always has for me (kindred spirits?) You're right, it's the people who are close to us that we can feel the most pain from. You used the word "distressed" above; that's a good word to describe how we feel about things sometimes.

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  3. Beautiful and heartfelt poem, Barbara. You have such a special way with words.

    Yes, I have regrets - of things done; of things undone; of things not handled as well as I would have liked. But we don't really get a 'do-over' in this life, so just need to do the best we can with as much love and kindness as we can, and not look back with regrets we cannot change.

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    1. Thank you so much. I agree with your approach in these matters; we don't get a do-over so we need to move forward with love and kindness. It's not easy sometimes, but when the storm passes we see clearly that it was the right thing to do.

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  4. Thank you for sharing your experiences and insights and inspirational articles. Love your beautiful poem. I think many people will have at least some regrets, some are things that they had little or no control over and some were decisions or choices. I think most people do the best they can with the resources they have at that time. We cannot go back in time and change anything, so it is upon us to live with those events or decisions and make the best of it, learn and go forward with love and compassion.

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    1. I couldn't agree more - to learn and move forward - I think the hardest part is when we can't change a situation we're in - that's when the real tests come - I think most of us pass those tests too.

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  5. Barbara dear, you are one of the people I admire most in this world. Your kind, generous, loving nature, your authenticity and willingness to be transparent and vulnerable, your commitment to making the most of your God-given gifts and blessings, and your choice to be the light you want to see make you incredibly special. I have plenty of regrets, but as I get older, I’m also becoming better able to learn from them, accept them and move on than I used to be. I feel very blessed to have you and your inspiration in my life, my friend. 💗

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    1. And you know how much I appreciate and love you as well - you are all the things you just typed above - knowing you're here makes my life better - I have this quote "I'm so glad to live when you live" - that's how I feel about you xxoo thank you <3

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  6. A thoughtful post, Barbara. I expect we all have regrets as I do, too though I love where I have wound up, regrets or not.

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  7. Oh, I have more than a few regrets. I am at a stage in life where I am working on releasing the regrets I cannot change. The most beautiful people I know -- those who are most compassionate and filled with grace -- are surely those who, like you, have grown their inner beauty from the transformation regrets offer them. I see your true colors and they are beautiful in every way.

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    1. You are a gift in many ways - the harder the road the softer the person? I like to think so as well - although I'm sure it doesn't always turn out that way for everyone - I guess we're all in school here on earth <3

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