Sunday, July 31, 2022

Have You Ever Felt Stuck? - A Personal Diary Entry

Have You Ever Felt Stuck in Life
Feeling Stuck - An Emotion Review

At the moment, I feel stuck.

However, I know I'm not stuck. Plus, I live by being grateful for life no matter what's going on or what I'm feeling. 

What we feel is king, so I suppose if I'm feeling stuck, I'm living that way, whether I know it or not.

Feeling stuck is new for me; it isn't something I've felt very often. In fact, I'm a bit confused by this emotion.

After Researching, Here are a Few Reasons That Might Make Us Feel Stuck:

There's a great deal of psychoanalysis online about what triggers this particular emotion. 

1. We Aren't Living Our Own Values - For Me, Maybe?

There are certain things in my life that do not fit with my values, nothing major, subtle things. So I'm coping with this by trusting and accepting that I'm doing the right things, living the right way, and accepting that each of us has to find our way and live our truth. I'm falling back on that old quote: "There are two things you can't change, natural law and other people." So maybe this is one reason I feel stuck?

2. We're Losing Hope - For Me, No Chance

Ok, this is a bold-faced, no way! No matter what goes on in my life, I never lose hope. In fact, I live for hope. Every day is another chance; that's how I see life. I can cross this one off the list.

3. We Are Conflicted About Making Big Changes - For Me, This One is a Yes

Some changes are coming our way (I'm not sure when), and I am very conflicted about this. One thing that is saving me is prayer and the belief that when the change is made if it's made, it will be wonderful.

4. We Are Overdoing It, Feeling Burnt Out - For Me, This is a Yes

It isn't that I'm overdoing things physically (although I am sometimes guilty of this). The mental pressure of life's challenges is consuming me. I've been working on the mental strain of this quite a bit by meditating, praying, writing, watching movies, and doing the things that need to be done, so the list doesn't pile up. 

5. We're Not Surrounded by Enough Like-Minded People - Yes, This is Big For Me

Obviously, we can't be around 'yes' people all the time. That's not what I'm missing. 

I'm feeling alone in my beliefs, values, and tastes. Taking this one ridiculous step further, I miss being around people who like the music, topics, discussions, and general life chit-chat I do. Maybe the isolation of Covid is a significant contributor to this? 

Writing has become my way of expressing myself and putting my beliefs and values out there. So I suppose I deal with this primarily via writing.

Summary

Those who know me know that I lost my mom last November. Both my parents have passed away. 

I think feeling alone has a lot to do with this awful loss. I don't like living life without my parents. I absolutely hate it.

One of the craziest feelings I've had lately is that no one has my back. It is a ridiculous emotion because obviously, my family has my back! But the truth is, nobody can ever have my back as my parents did. Maybe I miss being someone's child, someone's daughter?

So I'm dealing with this feeling of aloneness by building upon my self-reliance. Even though I'm part of a big family, I'm working harder than ever on my independence and working especially hard toward unrealized dreams.

Thanks for listening. 

Can you relate to any of these feelings?

My newest poem, you guessed it, is called "Stuck." 

A poem about feeling stuck in life


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9 comments:

  1. I think we all, at some point in our lives, experience a 'stuck' feeling. Life, when lived fully, will have it's challenges; it's ups and downs, times of feeling stuck in place. You cope in the best way you can. It looks as though you have found several ways that work for you. Your 'Stuck' poem is lovely and heart-felt.

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  2. If we live long enough, I'm quite sure we all feel "stuck" at times and I suspect we all have dealt with all of the reasons listed at some time in our lives. Like you, I don't like change, yet it happens whether I want it to or not. It takes time to find that new normal. Death of our loved ones is always life changing and it takes years to move beyond the emotional roller coaster, if we ever do. I have often said, we don't get over it, we simply live past it. Loving deeply means hurting deeply, but I still chose love.

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    Replies
    1. You are so right, I agree, that we don't get over it, we simply adjust to our new normal. Thank you.

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  3. Barbara dear, I can absolutely relate to your current feelings of being “stuck.” Accepting and living the reality of having become an orphan is incredibly hard for those of us who were extremely close to our parents. Accepting the limitations and shortened time horizon as we age is also really hard. Even though you are struggling with those powerful feelings, you continue to face them with grace, courage, gratitude, hope, intention, and proactive, positive efforts to live authentically in harmony with your beliefs and values. I love and admire you so much, dear friend! Please know that you are not alone in this struggle, and that you and your life are very precious to many of us. ❤️

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    1. Margaret, you're such a good friend. I'm grateful to have you in my life. I feel as though you 'see' me - (cliche, I know) but I really do feel that. Thanks so much for being the amazing friend you've been over the years we've known each other. <3

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  4. Barbara, I can so relate to what you are feeling. I have been stuck since my sister died suddenly in 2020! She was two years younger than I and now I am the only remaining sibling in my family! It is up to me to take care of my mother (who at times drives me to distraction) and sometimes I feel like my life is on hold while I look after my ailing and aging relatives. They don't get it! My mother refuses to talk about my sister and I so need to talk about her! It's a hard place to be in!

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    Replies
    1. My heart goes out to you in buckets right now! Being the only sibling left, AND caring for your ailing parents is more difficult than can be expressed in this meager online blurb. I do get it though. When I was the caregiver to ailing parents I wasn't sure how I would get through it all - it was so hard, hard beyond hard. Our heart hurts for them, yet we're tired too! We want to help, and feel it's not appreciated sometimes and we bite our tongues so much during this process! I know the standard advice is to take some time for yourself, but honestly, I never appreciated that tip. I always appreciated the good intentions of those who would say it to me - however, those words were not the words I needed at that time. Here's what I needed to hear more of, and I'll say it for you too: "you are a strong and giving person, and what you're doing to help may seem like it's going unnoticed, but it's not, There's a family beyond this world watching over you, helping you silently, sending you the strength to go on and do what you need to do for you parents" - "you are one of the strongest people I know, but please know that we wish and pray that you don't always have to be the strong one, that blessed help will come your way to relieve some of your burdens" - <3 You're doing amazing.

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  5. Stuck? Yes, I am. Like you, I tend to address my "stuckness" with reflection, meditation, prayer, and journaling. Exercise, any kind of movement, helps. Isolation makes things much more complicated. You are seen. You are heard. I want to have your back (even if it is from a distance). I care. Thanks for sharing from the heart and soul.

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