I Miss You Most at Christmas Time - Music Review & Personal Narrative

I Miss You!

It is the week before Christmas and I am already surrounded by my family, but there is someone missing.

9 years ago my brother died.  During the holidays, when he should be here with us, the grief washes over me and I, once again, mourn the death of my beloved brother.

The holidays should be joyous and for the most part they really are festive.  There is a lot of family togetherness and laughter. Ironically, it is when we are all laughing that I hear the voice in my mind of one that is no longer laughing with us.  If ever there was anyone who loved to laugh, loved life, loved family, and loved Christmas, it would be my brother.

I wonder if there will ever be a Christmas that I don't remember and grieve his absence.

The photo above is from my own personal photo album.  It was taken on Christmas day, several years ago and is an actual photo of my brother and grandmother together.

I Miss You Most at Christmas Time by Mariah Carey

Several years ago, at Christmas, I heard "Miss You Most (At Christmas Time)" by Mariah Carey. My tenderhearted brother was with me then and we joined together as we cried and grieved the death and separation from our grandmother.

It never occurred to me that his would be the next family death and that when I heard the song again, it would be him that I would be missing.

Separation is for Just for a Season

St Peter's Basilica Dove Stained Glass Window

After my tears are spent, I recall the promise made by our Savior, Jesus Christ, thousands of years ago and I regain the strength to step into the next moment of my life.

John 6:38-40

"For I have come down from heaven, not to do My own will, but the will of Him who sent me. And this is the will of Him who sent me, that of all that He has given me, I lose nothing, but raise it up on the last day. For this is the will of my Father, that everyone who beholds the Son and believes in him shall have eternal life, and I Myself will raise him up on the last day."

Comfort

My Brother's Monument

I find great comfort in that scripture passage and in His promise.  I am not wishing my life away, for there is work yet for me to do, but I know that one day I will be reunited with my brother and all who have gone before me.

My Brother's Monument

About the Dove in the Photo & the Monument

The photo of the dove is of a stained glass window in St. Peter's Basilica in Rome.  I shall never forget the first time I ever saw that window.  It was brilliant!  I loved that window and took lots of photos before we left.  I can't adequately describe the magnificence and awe of seeing that window in person or the sense of longing and adoration it evokes.   The image of the sun lite stained glass dove stayed in my mind's eye long after we left Rome. 

When we were designing my brother's monument, that was the image that came to mind.  As you can see, the monument artist was able to replicate the image on the monument from the photo.

The inscription is a quote from the sonnet "Death, be Not Proud", written by John Donne.  I truly believe that it is death that dies when we wake eternally.   

I wrote this article about myself and my own personal thoughts, but I also recognize that there are many among us who are grieving during the holidays.  It is my sincere desire that these words may also comfort others who are grieving.

May the One who bottles your tears, comfort you now!

Scripture reference: Psalms 56:8

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