A Review of the Book "But Why Can't I", a book about rules for young children.
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Let's look at the child's point of view, and perhaps delve back in our own childhood memories to times we also questioned a parent's command. Because I said so doesn't answer the 'why' of the situation and tends to leave the child with the feeling that they don't count or are not important enough to be given a proper answer. This surely is not the parent's intention, but quite often that is how the child perceives it.
Whether it's a small child resisting bedtime or a teenager being refused permission to do something or go somewhere, taking the time to give a simple explanation produces much better results and reduces resentment and resistance. Try it next time you are tempted to just answer children with 'Because I Said So!'.
But Why?
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It's a book about rules from the Our Emotions and Behavior series by Sue Graves and illustrated by Desideria Guicciardin.
Synopsis:
Children sometimes find it hard to follow rules. This encouraging book joins Noah and his babysitter, Jenny, who shows him how rules help keep people safe, healthy, and happy.
About the Author
Sue Graves is a former teacher and a published author. She writes fiction and nonfiction for children from preschool to high school.
This book is for ages 4 to 8 years. It is a cheerful, brightly illustrated, story designed to help kids understand how their emotions and actions are related—and how they can learn to manage both. At the end of the book there is a two-page series of pictures which invite kids to tell a story in their own words.There is also a special section for adults with discussion questions and ideas to help parents get their children to talk about their feelings.
This book is perhaps a much better solution than just quickly saying "Because I said so".
But if those words still want to come to mind in certain situations, perhaps with the 17th time the kiddos continue to argue the point, bring out this coffee mug. The printed sentiment in words will say it for you! :)
Note: The author may receive a commission from purchases made using links found in this article. “As an Amazon Associate, Ebay (EPN), Esty (Awin), and/or Zazzle Affiliate, I (we) earn from qualifying purchases.”
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I've known a lot of parents through the years who need to read this book! It's nice to have a resource to use with children to explain why rule are important. This sounds like a very good one. Thanks for the review, Elf!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Susan. I thought it looked like a really helpful book for parents.
Delete"But why can't I?" is a question oft heard by parents. I even hear adults ask that question from time to time. No one likes to hear the answer "because I said so". That is truthfully not a good answer, although I do hear parents say it. Ironically, I don't believe I ever heard either of my parents answer with "because I said so". Giving a real answer to why someone can't (or shouldn't) do something will often take long enough that they won't ask that question unless they really want an answer. Perhaps, this book would be good for both parents and children. We all must follow rules. The sooner we grasp that first rule, the better off we will all be. Sounds like a great children's book to me!
ReplyDeleteI think I used that response about a million times. Either "because I said so" or "because I'm an adult, and when you are an adult, you can do it too." Oops! Haha. I love the mug!
ReplyDeleteI think I heard this at least a thousand times during my childhood. I think all children want to know why they can't get or do what they want. Any book that helps adults learn to handle the why question better than "because I said so" has got to be a help to parent-child communication.
ReplyDeleteYep, heard this a thousand times as well when the boys were little. A handy book, and an excellent gift for new moms and dads.
ReplyDeleteThanks everyone. Very handy advice I thought. :)
ReplyDelete