Thursday, June 22, 2017

Because I said so!

A Review of the Book "But Why Can't I", a book about rules for young children.

But Why Can't I! Book Cover
Available on Amazon
We've all said it at one time or another. Everyone who is a parent says 'because I said so' in answer to a child's WHY in resistance to following a command or rule.  The reason we say it probably stems from a reluctance or an impatience to explain an adult's reasoning in a way a child would understand.  Perhaps the parent feels they shouldn't HAVE to explain why; that their command should simply be obeyed.

Let's look at the child's point of view, and perhaps delve back in our own childhood memories to times we also questioned a parent's command.  Because I said so doesn't answer the  'why' of the situation and tends to leave the child with the feeling that they don't count or are not important enough to be given a proper answer.  This surely is not the parent's intention, but quite often that is how the child perceives it.

Whether it's a small child resisting bedtime or a teenager being refused permission to do something or go somewhere, taking the time to give a simple explanation produces much better results and reduces resentment and resistance.  Try it next time you are tempted to just answer children with 'Because I Said So!'

But Why?

But Why Can't I? book cover
Available in Children's Books on Amazon

For smaller children who have trouble understanding an adults' reasoning or explanation about something they are told, this book "But Why Can't I?" might be helpful for both parent and child.  

It's a book about rules from the Our Emotions and Behavior series by Sue Graves and illustrated by Desideria Guicciardin.


Children sometimes find it hard to follow rules. This encouraging book joins Noah and his babysitter, Jenny, who shows him how rules help keep people safe, healthy, and happy. 

About the Author

Sue Graves is a former teacher and a published author. She writes fiction and nonfiction for children from preschool to high school.

This book is for ages 4 to 8 years. It is a cheerful, brightly illustrated, story designed to help kids understand how their emotions and actions are related—and how they can learn to manage both. At the end of the book there is a two-page series of pictures which invite kids to tell a story in their own words.There is also a special section for adults with discussion questions and ideas to help parents get their children to talk about their feelings.

This book is perhaps a much better solution than just quickly saying "Because I said so".

Because I Said so - Dad coffee cup
Coffee Mug for Father's Day Because Father Knows Best!

This mug design is professionally created and permanently inked in South Carolina, USA by Melissa of DrageynDesigns on Etsy.  Melissa also has a similar coffee mug available with -Mom as the signature.  

Each coffee mug is made to order, and is not created beforehand. This is *not* a vinyl decal design. The design is inked and professionally processed with a high heat press to bond permanently with the mug itself, and the design will not crack or peel off. Also, the design will be on both sides of the mug.  

Visit Melissa at Drageyn Designs on Etsy and see the fabulous choices of ceramic coffee mugs and travel coffee mugs, plus beer steins and much more she has created for her shop.  There is sure to be one that is perfect for you. 

Drageyn Designs

Note: The author may receive a commission from purchases made using links found in this article. “As an Amazon Associate, Ebay (EPN) and/or Esty (Awin) Affiliate, I (we) earn from qualifying purchases.”


  1. I've known a lot of parents through the years who need to read this book! It's nice to have a resource to use with children to explain why rule are important. This sounds like a very good one. Thanks for the review, Elf!

    1. Thanks, Susan. I thought it looked like a really helpful book for parents.

  2. "But why can't I?" is a question oft heard by parents. I even hear adults ask that question from time to time. No one likes to hear the answer "because I said so". That is truthfully not a good answer, although I do hear parents say it. Ironically, I don't believe I ever heard either of my parents answer with "because I said so". Giving a real answer to why someone can't (or shouldn't) do something will often take long enough that they won't ask that question unless they really want an answer. Perhaps, this book would be good for both parents and children. We all must follow rules. The sooner we grasp that first rule, the better off we will all be. Sounds like a great children's book to me!

  3. I think I used that response about a million times. Either "because I said so" or "because I'm an adult, and when you are an adult, you can do it too." Oops! Haha. I love the mug!

  4. I think I heard this at least a thousand times during my childhood. I think all children want to know why they can't get or do what they want. Any book that helps adults learn to handle the why question better than "because I said so" has got to be a help to parent-child communication.

  5. Yep, heard this a thousand times as well when the boys were little. A handy book, and an excellent gift for new moms and dads.

  6. Thanks everyone. Very handy advice I thought. :)


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