Sunday, November 13, 2016

A Moms Song for a Child Leaving Home

If I Could by Barbra Streisand
A Further Review about the Song Meaning Here

One of My Sons is Moving Out in Two Days & the Lyrics to this Song Say What We Moms Feel

I've been one of those lucky moms; all four of my sons still live at home.

Yes, that's right, and we love it that way.

But my second boy, a guitarist and artist on the rise in a band called Coldfront, is moving out on his own. He's anxious to fly, but I'm not ready to let him. I'll never be ready.

Totally biased I'm about to blurt out all the cliches moms say: He's smart, organized, gorgeous and talented. I guess that's suppose to bring a measure of comfort.

But really, how did all the moms of the world get through this part of life! It's hard.

He's turned out to be a wonderful young man, and he's ready. The high point is what he's given me; the proof that he's ready.

After our son explained his plans to his dad and I on how he's going to manage this big step, we were so proud. Later that night we were lamenting on how hard this is, and how much we would miss him. But then his dad said, 'he's just like you! he's so much like you, and for that reason, I won't worry so much'.
"I've Watched You Grow So I Could Let You Go" (Lyrics)
Most of my friends have had their children move out already.

Looking back, I know I'm feeling my own mother's heartache as my brothers and I moved out.

At 19, mom and I drove to Toronto where I would start University and share an apartment with a friend. Mom helped me set-up the place, spent two days with me and after hugs and kisses, I remember standing at that apartment door watching her walk down the hall towards the elevator where she waved a final goodbye.

This coming Monday, I will understand what my mother felt that day. I'll say goodbye to my boy, my life, and pretend he's just going away for the weekend and that he'll be back in a few days. Without doing that, I'd be a mess, and on such a milestone for him, don't want him to feel my pain.

Right now I'm lucky. I can hear the boys laughing and talking to each other from their bedrooms. My dad used to say to me that he was happiest when all of us were home safe and sound. I miss my dad. I sure could use a hug from him right now. Dad would be so proud of him, of all the boys.
(Lyrics)
If I could, I would try to shield your innocence from time
but the part of life I gave you isn't mine
I've watched you grow so I could let you go
if I could
I would help you make it through the hungry years
but I know that I can never cry your tears
but I would
if I could
If you're looking for lyrics that say exactly what a Mom wants to say to her children, this is the perfect song - Get the tissues ready - I'm spent after listening to it <3



Things I'll have to deal with in the coming days:

  • How will I handle walking by his empty bedroom?
  • Missing the big glorious mess he leaves in his room
  • His cooking for us once in a while
  • His smile
  • His hugs
  • His brothers will miss him too
That's it, we're going to visit him - did I mention he's moving 5 hours away.

Yesterday he was just a baby.



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13 comments:

  1. Barbra Streisand's voice has always sent shivers down my spine. Just her beautiful true voice is enough to make one cry, so combine that with this 'mother's message' I can see why you had the tissues out.

    I can tell how proud you are of your boys, but as moms we all face the day our children need to strike out on their own. Be grateful for the time you had him to yourself and be strong enough to let him reach out to the rest of the world waiting for him.

    Good luck to your son and his band as they make their way in the music world. And as his mom, realize that his special talent needs to be shared. This part of his life belongs to others, as it should, but your love for him will always be a part of his heart.

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    1. Pat, beautifully and perfectly said. It brought tears to my eyes. One of my friends has three of her four children moved out and theyre spread out all over the world. They all see each other a lot despite the distance. She flies quite often to see them. And they fly home. Funny, knowing I'd be facing this someday I've been watching her, and I know we'll do the same. Fortunately in our case we can drive back and forth. Thanks for such an incredibly thoughtful comment.

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    2. Barbara, I've been there.... so I know how it feels. My three are all doing well out on their own and we visit as time permits, but we all (me, the mom, and all the siblings) keep in touch with each other by phone (and sometimes text) on a regular basis. Reaching out even when we cannot do it in person makes me feel as if I'm still a part of their lives ~ and they with each other. Sharing our lives long-distance works out well as I always know what they are doing - what THEIR children & spouses are doing - and how they feel. It cannot be quite the same as when they were all MINE, but it's still a loving family unit and we all remain close in our hearts. Cute story - you know I'm a big baseball fan. Well, during the World Series this year my youngest son and my brother both knew how much I wanted the Cubs to win and for each game the 3 of us texted back & forth for each big play throughout the game! It felt as if we were all in the same room cheering our team on and sharing the moments together. :-)

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    3. Pat, thanks for that, it helps to read this. It's comforting in a big way. Your story about the texting is awesome lol! You know what's hilarious is my oldest son and I text back and forth in the house if he's watching a sporting event in his room and I'm watching in the family room! It's a modern world haha

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  2. Love to you and your son. I remember when I wished the kids would hurry up and walk on their own. Then in a blink of an eye, they were walking on their own right out the door.

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    1. Dawn that's so true isn't it - it really does go by in a blink - honestly time has no mercy sometimes, it just ticks away - sometimes we love that, and then there's these times.

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  3. Yes, just as the lyrics of the song say, "if I could I would". We would like to protect our children from all pain, all stress. Like you said, just as our parents could not protect us from living life, we cannot lock our children away from the world and keep them safe. The fact that they joyfully step away from our home and protection smacks us into a state of depression. However, it is a part of life, a big part of being a parent and the glorious, adventurous part of being young. We would not deny them their time to shine.

    As always, wishing your son, all of your sons, great success!

    Oh, and you already know I feel and understand the difficulties of distance.

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    1. Cynthia, thank you. I've been thinking about you this weekend and your journey down this road. You know only too well all about it <3 - I told the boys the other day that if I could make the road of life easy for them I would - said, "I know you're suppose to learn by your mistakes, but as your mom, I only want it easy peasy for you, to heck with mistakes" (lol) - honestly that's how I feel. We're in a special club us moms aren't we.

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  4. Anything Barbra sings is beautiful, but when there's a personal reason we can relate to, it's just that much better. I love what you wrote, Barbara, and totally relate. Though my two have been gone from home for several years (they left on the same day; talk about empty nest syndrome), I still "would if I could." The words really speak to me, too, even now. You've done a great job with him and I know you're already proud of him, so you truly do know he'll be more than just fine - and so will you. And five hours isn't THAT far away! <3

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    1. Susan, thank you so much. You're own experience gives me a measure of peace. But wowzer both boys on the same day for you!! Oh my gawd, that had to be hard for you and hubby!! I can't even fathom that. Josh was teasing me today in the car, I was saying to him how I'm going to miss Jared, and he said 'mom, forgot to tell yah I'm moving to Sri Lanka' - um, he's the comedian of the family, and I busted out laughing! Thanks so much, you've also done an amazing job with your boys too - The future have some great men <3

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  5. Barbara you will get through this too. It's all part of the big picture. We have our children only for a while and then they must spread their wings and fly too! That's when you will be extra happy, when they fly and soar. Blessings to you my dear friend, and all the best to your son. I wish him all the good fortune and best on his way up!

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    1. Olivia thank you, I needed that. The hallway is filling up with stuff to be packed in the truck tomorrow, and it's kinda tough.

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  6. This is bittersweet for me. You've had some time to get emotionally ready for this. It's hard, but at least you'll be able to keep in touch with him. It's even harder when it's a final goodbye. Then you pretend he's just moved to a place your phone and computer can't reach. You have only memories. I miss the talks and hugs and seeing a grown-up son. You're right. I need the tissues.

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