I wrote the lyrics to this song, "Looking At My Hands," on March 19th, 2026, but in many ways, the story began decades earlier.
The First Verse Inspired By My True Story of Mom Helping Me Move Into My First Apartment in 1979 - But It Applies to Many Women!
The first verse is not just imagined — it's a memory I've carried with me all my life.
I was 19 years old in 1979 when I moved to Toronto to go to school, sharing my very first apartment with a friend.
It was only a few hours from home, but it felt like a whole new world had opened up in front of me. I remember the excitement, the independence, and the quiet realization that life was beginning to unfold in a new and exciting way.
And I will never forget my mother being there with me.
We unpacked boxes together, cleaned (we were cleaning maniacs lol), and set up that apartment piece by piece. There was something so simple about it at the time — just the physical act of lifting things, putting them in place, beginning a new chapter.
But looking back now, that moment holds so much more meaning. It was the beginning of everything.
That verse, for me, is almost a diary entry. It takes me right back to that young woman standing at the start of her life, not yet knowing all that she would one day carry.
On a side note, I start the song with the words:
"Looking at my hands, remembering what they've lifted, my pens and my dreams, and how those early weights shifted"
These words reference what my soul knew it should be doing, writing, and how those dreams shifted to the practical side of life.
Thinking back, it was the world we lived in: be practical, think about a career, not your artsy-fartsy dreams.
Well, it ain't over till it's over! So here's my lyric video :)
The Verses About Youth and Ambition, Marriage and Family
From there, the song moves through the stages so many of us know.
The years of ambition and growth, when life feels fast and full; meeting new people, building a career, stepping into independence with excitement and hope.
And then, as life unfolds, it brings love, relationships, marriage, and children. Each chapter arrives naturally, almost effortlessly at first. Yet, each one brings new layers of responsibility and new forms of "lifting" that we never fully anticipated when we were just starting out.
That's really what this song is about.
It's not just the events themselves, but what comes with them. The unseen weight.
The emotional and mental strength required to hold it all together. The quiet resilience that builds over time as life becomes more complex.
In the beginning, the lifting is physical — boxes, furniture, the pieces of a new life. But as the years go on, what we carry becomes much deeper than that. It becomes about people, about love, about responsibility, about showing up again and again for the life we've created.
And then something shifts.
The Verse About How The Lifting Will Now Be Experienced by Our Grown Children
We begin to see the next generation stepping into those same roles.
Our children begin to carry their own weights, to build their own lives, to face their own challenges. And in that moment, there's both a sense of understanding and a quiet passing of the torch; a recognition that this is the rhythm of life.
The thread that runs through it all is that simple image: looking at our hands.
All that they've held.
All that they've lifted.
All that they've carried — often without us even realizing the strength it took.
I Gave This Song, These Lyrics, A Positive Ending
And in the end, I wanted this song to land somewhere peaceful and positive. Not in hardship, but in reflection. In that later chapter of life where we can look back — from that young woman in her first apartment in 1979, to the woman we are today — and recognize the fullness of it all.
Not perfectly lived, but fully lived.
And in that reflection, there is a quiet kind of victory.
Not the kind that needs to be announced, but the kind you feel when you realize… You did it. You're still standing. That's a win in my books.
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Barbara, you are bringing back such wonderful memories of my own as I read (and listen to) each group of song lyrics you write and share with us. I now am reflecting my own life story from the standpoint of a senior woman and see my grown children begin to lift up the burdens of life (and the joys) on their own. I like thinking I helped them do that. Thank you for these quiet reflections into past moments.
ReplyDeleteThank you Ms. Elf. I know you help them lift those burdens, even when we feel we can’t fix it, just the hugs and love alone helps so much doesn’t it.
DeleteBarbara I love your lyrics. They bring back so many wonderful memories. I’m at that point in life where my granddaughters are starting to go out in the world and find their way. Life does go on.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much Mary. It does go by so fast doesn’t it. A full life lived has so many memories and reflections to share and pass on. I think we do that in many ways don’t we, for those in our family coming up in the next generations.
DeleteBarb dear, your gift for words amazes me. This song evokes so much and is so relatable, even though I don’t have children. I love the phrase “the lives we’ve grown.” Thank you so much for sharing with us!
ReplyDeleteMargaret, your support has been a great strength for me. Love you very much. I continue to try and capture the growth of life. I’m always pushing my spirit for more lol. Thank you for feeling that line. We’ve lived full lives and encapsulating it, I think will take me many lyrics, from many angles. I imagine what you have seen, what others have seen over a lifetime and know that the words are endless. So many stories and words to share,
DeleteBeautiful Barbara! You continue to amaze me. Life definitely floats by too quickly, but it is wonderful to look back and be grateful the the ability God gave us, as well as the miracles witnessed when we were simply not strong enough alone. I also appreciate you sharing your story about your mom helping you move in to that first apartment. I also have a mother who worked with me on whatever I wanted to do. We have been greatly blessed!
ReplyDeleteWe’ve been very blessed for sure. To have mothers who cared so much is truly immeasurable isn’t it. Thanks so much for listening to the lyrics :)
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