A Personal Diary Entry - Do You Ever Feel Indifferent? |
How do you handle the feeling of indifference?
I'm even reluctant to write about this mood!
Why am I reluctant to write about it? Apparently, I've heard and read that indifference is one of the least attractive and least productive emotions.
The Dictionary Definition of Indifference: "Lack of interest, concern, or sympathy"
In no-way do I feel a lack of sympathy for others when I'm feeling indifferent! (just wanted to put that out there)
Indifference About A Day, A Direction, Feeling a Lack of Control - That's The Indifference I'm Speaking About
Some days, not often, but a little more often lately, I feel a complete lack of control.
I know, I know, I know .... you're about to tell me that's a good thing.
Well, I agree; at times, that can undoubtedly be a good thing.
However, this lack of control brings out that dreaded word and feeling, "whatever."
The Not-Knowing is Suppose to Be a Good Thing, Right?
Do you think, lack of control and not knowing what's ahead is a good thing? Do you accept those moments in your life for what they are ... hopefully a temporary blip?
For me, it seems when things are somewhat overwhelming and a bit out of control, I get a little bit "indifferent." I get a sort of "so what" "whatever" feeling. I honestly despise that feeling. In my opinion, a lack of concern about a situation is unproductive.
Could it be a survival mechanism? Nah, I just think it's a newer feeling for me, and I have to learn to process it because I've rarely felt this way about life.
Since I'm solution-oriented, feeling "blah-what-ever" about a life issue annoys me further! I prefer to move forward and resolve matters ... not wallow in "whatevers."
The good thing about not knowing the answers and the resulting indifference is being forced to practice patience and accept that I can't control everything. Things have to resolve themselves in their own good time.
Two Things We Cannot Change: Natural Law and Other People
Most of us who have lived long enough already know and understand that we cannot change others. Goodness knows it took me into my thirties (a long time ago) to figure that one out.
However, I must ensure I don't get too indifferent about situations I cannot change or control lately. I'm not a heartless person and never want that unkind trait to infect my persona. It won't, but holy-hannah feeling indifferent really does suck!
What Do You Do to Cope With and Manage Your Feelings?
My entire life, I've written poetry. I recently published 50 years of poems on Amazon. I've been writing poems since I was 8 years old and decided it was time to assemble a book.
To cope, do you write? Read? Exercise? Sleep? Sing? Dance? Travel?
So today, I'm feeling indifferent (blah); this too shall pass.
Oh, by the way, what I've been doing to combat this unproductive feeling? Binge-watching Prime and Netflix series. Yah, I know, everything in moderation :)
Additional Personal Diary Entries:
Do You Have Any Regrets in Life?
10 Ways to Be Happy Even When Life Sucks
Ten Ways to Handle Stress and Anger
I sometimes get the feeling I call 'The Blahs' -- perhaps it is the same or similar to your 'indifference'. Just a feeling of not being interested in doing anything or interacting with anyone. Just wanting to 'veg' as some would say. My 'veg' or escape is to read -- I have had days where I will read a book for hours -- or all day long -- and just ignore anything or anyone else. It's not a perfect solution, but it's harmless enough and at least I'm not inflicting my mood on anyone else. :) Thanks for sharing your coping feelings, Barbara.
ReplyDeleteI like how you put it "not inflicting a mood on others" - that's a good reason to distract ourselves from our daily routines
DeleteYes, sometimes the "indifference" is necessary for our mental health. I consider it my forced downtime or rest time. Like you, I tend to turn on a series that doesn't require a great deal of thought or emotional investment. I've heard people describe it as the blahs, and that fits. However, for me, it is truly a necessary recharge time.
ReplyDeletegood point, "a re-charge time" - that describes it well
DeleteBarbara, I’m certainly familiar with this feeling. My instinctive reaction is to get down on myself (“So many people would be thrilled to have your advantages, you ungrateful slouch! Now pull up your socks and do something productive!”). That can easily take me from unmotivated/blue/listless to immobilized, since I feel like I can’t do what I need to/should do and even make my a try seems overwhelming and pointless. It certainly is a horrible feeling!
ReplyDeleteWhat I’ve learned over the course of many, many years (and still need to remind myself of) is that, for me, there are usually only two possible ways to get past it and move forward. The first is to do something for someone else who needs it. When I feel too down/blah to do something positive and productive for myself, I can sometimes dig deeper and find the motivation to help others. The second is to try to treat myself with the same care, kindness and compassion I would have for someone else I cared about who was feeling overwhelmed and unmotivated. This is especially true when the source of the overwhelming feelings is the amount of effort and energy I have been putting into caring for someone else, or watching someone I love fade away due to illness or age. It can be hard for even the most compassionate and supportive people to feel compassionate and supportive of themselves when times are tough. But it’s important to have empathy toward yourself (oxymoronic as that sounds) and to give yourself permission to “veg,” eat comfort food, sleep late and lose yourself in a book, movie or television show for a day or two (or more, if you haven’t replenished your inner resources enough yet), knowing that when you’re mental and emotional “tank” has been refilled, you’ll be in a much better and more optimistic frame of mind.
Thank you so much for sharing your experience with having “your get-up-and-go done gotten up and went,” as my dad used to say. I know this will resonate with many people, and knowing that even someone as wonderfully positive, optimistic, motivated and productive as you sometimes gets these feelings may help them be less hard on themselves when they’re feeling overwhelmed and unmotivated. 💗
Margaret, thank you for this thoughtful, insightful response. You understand what I've written in multiple ways. I'm feeling unproductive yet in a way I know I'm still productive - but not in my normal way. Thank you for pointing out that it's ok for me to take time to nurture myself - Part of me feels that's all I've been doing lately. Helping others always works for me too; I do that as often as possible. Also, run-on-prayer helps too. This time though, it's a concerted effort to maintain my center. I know in the end, "everything will be ok", because as you know, I truly believe that about life - but getting from A to Z is the neverending challenge these days - If I had to pick a letter that I'm on (with Z) being the end of these challenging situations, I'd say I'm on "M" - thanks for being there for me. Love you tons.
DeleteI don't recall ever feeling indifferent. I tend to feel things pretty intensely. I do believe this is a time when it is more normal for people to feel that many things are out of their control. I don't especially like feeling that way. I appreciate what you have put out there for us to ponder alongside you. As a reflective individual, I can empathize. And, I care.
ReplyDeleteOh I really dislike when I feel "indifferent" but I can relate to that. My sister's death did that to me and I find myself still falling into that dark place where not too much in life excites me anymore. It's not a good place for me to be. So I turn to music and reading! These both help to lift my spirits and make me see that there is still lots to be thankful and grateful for. When I'm in that dark spot, I look to my friends and family to help lift me up! Thanks for sharing your thoughts, knowing that I'm not alone is part of the remedy too!
ReplyDeleteI had to think about this. I don't think I feel indifferent very often. When I do I see it as a signal to rest, to take time out, relax and say no to any requests. I do not lose empathy but I have learned that it is not good to ignore this "signal" and that I am better for it if I take the time to recharge at the first signs.For me I feel it is a signal that I am "running on empty" and that I do no one any good to try to keep going. Usually for me the recharging means connecting with nature, so walking in the forest, light gardening, taking photos of nature, meditation and avoiding TV and tech as much as possible.
ReplyDelete