Showing posts with label accepting change. Show all posts
Showing posts with label accepting change. Show all posts

Sunday, December 22, 2024

Discovering the Power of Mel Robbins' "The Let Them Theory"

 

Discovering the Power of Mel Robbins' "The Let Them Theory"

As someone who thrives on personal growth and exploring transformative ideas, I was thrilled to learn about Mel Robbins' new book, The Let Them Theory

I've pre-ordered my copy and, in the meantime, have been soaking up the principles through her podcast episodes and short, impactful clips featured on social media and episodes on YouTube.

What's incredible is that without realizing it, I'd been applying aspects of this theory to my life for years. But now, hearing Mel Robbins articulate it with such clarity has allowed me to truly embrace and delve deeper into this outstanding, life-changing approach to navigating relationships and everyday challenges.

I have to add that I use this theory daily! As a mom who thinks ten steps ahead for her husband, grown children, and life situations, I've learned to erase that from my mind and "let them." Of course, primary health and financial obligations get the attention they need when needed. Still, I'm also practicing the let them theory for minor issues related to those topics as well.

What is The Let Them Theory?

At its core, The Let Them Theory is about radical acceptance and releasing control. 

Mel Robbins explains that much of our frustration and disappointment in life comes from trying to control others or shape situations that are fundamentally out of our hands. The theory encourages us to simply "let them" — let people be who they are, let events unfold as they will, and let go of our need to intervene in things beyond our influence.

This mindset shift isn't about indifference or apathy; it's about embracing the reality that the only person you can truly control is yourself. By letting others act according to their values and decisions, you conserve your energy for your growth, well-being, and authentic connections.

The principle can be distilled into three key elements:

  1. Acceptance: Understand that people are who they are, and trying to change them often leads to unnecessary tension and frustration.

  2. Non-attachment: Release the expectation that things or people need to align perfectly with your preferences. This principle is also known in Buddhism.

  3. Empowerment: Use the energy you'd spend trying to control others to focus on improving your own life and reactions.

What Life Situations You Could Use The Let Them Theory For

One of the most exciting aspects of The Let Them Theory is its versatility. Here are five practical examples of where you can apply these principles in your life:

  1. Minor Daily Issues: Have you ever had someone cut you off in traffic or an email go unanswered longer than you'd like? Instead of stewing in frustration, let them. Recognize that their actions reflect their choices, not your worth. Shift your focus back to what you can control—your reactions.

  2. Romantic Relationships: Many of us have been tempted to "fix" or "improve" our significant other. The Let Them Theory reminds us that we can't change other people. Instead, we can choose to accept them as they are or reassess the relationship. This principle fosters healthier, more authentic partnerships.

  3. Family Dynamics: Families can be a source of love and, at times, frustration. Whether it's a sibling who always runs late or a parent who gives unsolicited advice, "let them" means understanding their quirks without letting them disrupt your peace.

  4. Friendships: If a friend drifts away or doesn't reciprocate the effort you put into the relationship, let them. Friendships ebb and flow, and clinging to expectations can often create unnecessary tension.

  5. Workplace Challenges: Dealing with difficult colleagues or supervisors? Let them. Instead of trying to change their behavior, focus on how you can adapt, set boundaries, or move toward solutions that empower you.

Why The Let Them Theory Resonates

Practicing The Let Them Theory has been a game-changer for me. The more I integrate this mindset, the more freedom and clarity I feel. I apply it to even the smallest annoyances.

It's incredible how much energy is reclaimed when you stop fighting battles that were never yours to begin with.

Mel Robbins has given a name and structure to something I intuitively practiced but hadn't fully embraced until now. 

If you're ready to transform your approach to life and relationships, I highly recommend diving into this theory—starting with her podcasts, social media, and, of course, the book itself. 

I can't wait to receive my pre-order and continue this journey of letting go and living fully.

Here's a YouTube Episode For You

There is some profanity in this episode.





Note: The author may receive a commission from purchases made using links found in this article. “As an Amazon Associate, Ebay (EPN) and/or Esty (Awin) Affiliate, I (we) earn from qualifying purchases.”


Sunday, September 5, 2021

How to Accept Change in Your Life

 

A Personal Review - How to Accept Change In Your Life

Life has been challenging for many of us for at least a few years now. 

What's happening around us, directly or indirectly, can seem overwhelming, especially when the issues touch our lives.

Here are My Five Personal Ideas on How to Accept Change and Move Forward:

1. Resist the Natural Urge to Resist the Change

Whether it's moving, a breakup, or a job change, embrace it. 

I know, that sounds impossible and a bit crazy, right? However, trying to embrace the change helps create a mindset that puts us into task-oriented activity to do the things needed to move forward. Despite it being difficult to go through that change, we are progressing through change instead of bathing in dread.


2. Be Solution Oriented

I'm not one to sit inside a problem for too long. It's just not who I am. Over the past four decades, being a solution-oriented person has carried me through a mountain of problems. 

If you're wondering what solution-oriented means, it means to spend your energy solving the problem instead of digging yourself into a pit of despair. 

Be productive with your mind; write down your options, talk to people who can help with the issue, research, and plan your way out. Take action, whatever that may be, and tackle the change with tasks and fortitude.


3.  Don't Suppress Your Emotions - But Don't Dwell on the Negative Either

This doesn't mean you get to yell and scream at people willy-nilly! And it certainly doesn't mean you get a free ticket to the irrationality show. 

Talk out your changes with others who can help. If you need to cry, find a safe shoulder or a private place where you can go ahead and bawl your eyes out. We know most men won't do this, but men need it most to all. I've raised four sons and personally know the emotional suppression that can take place. Break free from your emotional jail.

Once you've allowed your feelings to escape, focus on moving forward. To get through it, you have to go through it.


4. Accept Responsibility For Where You Are in Your Life

For adults, where we are in our life is a result of every choice we've made. That may seem a bit harsh, especially when we've had outside circumstances shape our lives. The operative word there is "shape."

Once we enter adulthood, every choice we make forms who we are; friends, where we live, how we live, schooling, work, relationships. Every one of these areas involves a choice. 

I've long ago come to terms with the fact that I am where I am, problems and all, because of every choice I've made. As much as I like to share my successes, I've accepted that my choices created my world, both good and bad; and yes, there have been some not-so-good times.

I remember sitting at the dinner table with my sons and throwing out this point about accepting responsibility for where you are in life; you should have seen their eyes widen! 

Most of us are rarely ready to accept responsibility for everything in our life until we really think about it and what that means. I'm here today because of series of decisions, or lack of decisions that I made and didn't make. Period.

This can be a freeing mental experience as well. Accepting responsibility has helped to point me in better directions and helped me to cope with adversity with grit. 


5. Choose Your Words Carefully While Going Through Change

The self-fulfilling prophecy is a real thing. The words we speak affect us. While you're going through life's changes, avoid words like hate, hurts, no way, can't, won't, ahole, and any other words that don't serve the solution or move you forward. The only exception to this is when you're having that all-important emotional release moment(s) described in point number three. 

When having a tough time, try 'opposite day.' I use this technique quite often. If inside I'm feeling apprehensive about an upcoming change or problem and all that is real is telling me I should wallow in the depths of despair, I project the polar opposite. 

I do opposite-day until good feelings become a natural feeling. Since I've practiced this so much, the change in my emotions will happen within an hour or less. It may take you longer to go through the faking it process, but you'll eventually master this.

Remember this one thing if nothing else at all;

"Don't let people rent space in your head" - Be your own inner voice, fight for your true self, lead with love and compassion, even when you're not getting any in return. Do it for the greater good. You're part of that greater good as well.

Additional Personal Guidance For Life:

10 Ways to Be Happy Even When Life is a Bucket of Lemons

Top 10 Ways to Manage Stress and Anger

Disclaimer: This is not meant to be medical advice and is not meant to be professional mental advice. I'm not a doctor. I'm just a mom sharing my decades of personal life experience.




Note: The author may receive a commission from purchases made using links found in this article. “As an Amazon Associate, Ebay (EPN) and/or Esty (Awin) Affiliate, I (we) earn from qualifying purchases.”


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