Sunday, August 1, 2021

A Review of Tough Times and Good People


Every Sunday, except for the past six Sundays, I add a review here on ReviewThisReviews.

Each of the ladies and gents who write for ReviewThisReviews makes a weekly contribution, and others fill in when needed. I'm proud to be associated with this amazing, reliable, and kind group of people. 

You can be confident that the writers here are real people, living real lives, and most of us have known each other for a decade or more. When you read a review by one of these class individuals, you can be sure it's from a genuine experience or straight from the heart.

Life Gets in the Way

I would like to take this Sunday to thank all the writers on ReviewThisReviews, and especially to those who filled in for me these past six Sundays for their support, patience, and dedication.

All of us live human lives, and that, of course, includes good times and bad. These past six weeks have been my personal nightmare, with my mom nearly passing away three times during that span. My mother may be the toughest lady I know! 

My Mother is a Force

Mom has spent her life managing family, working outside the home at times, caring, giving, and disciplining us. She's a strong independent woman who held her own all her life. We call her "small but mighty." She's only small in stature!

Mom has entered the next phase of life. My brother purchased the family home this past month, and mom has moved on to a place where she can get the care she needs. It's a first-class environment with a stunning view of the St. Lawrence Seaway here in Ontario. 

She deserves to live this next phase of life in comfort and class. Although mom isn't 'well' by any stretch of the imagination, she's a fighter and currently holding her own in her new place.

I Didn't Think I'd Get Through These Past Six Weeks - And I NEVER Think Like That

Like my mother, I'm a pretty tough person. I've handled adversity many times in my life. Reviewing my life to date, I'd have to say some of the difficult situations I've encountered have been incredible, even shocking to some. We've always gotten through it ... always.

However, this situation with my mom was brutal. Of course, almost losing her was beyond description, but harder than that was my mom having to wrap her head around the fact that she needed a safer place to live and with care. 

I was mom's personal PSW (personal support worker) for the entire time, and she knew how hard that was for me, for anyone. Yet adjusting to admitting your body is betraying you takes the greatest amount of courage. 

We needed mom to be happy and safe. Solving the problem of her being 'safe' was easier than solving her being happy. In fact, we cannot be someone's happy guru all the time. Probably never. Mom had to step up and handle that part, and so far, she's really giving it her usual tough-gal effort. Perhaps the secret at this point in our lives is to strive for being grateful, then happiness naturally follows?

Thank You ReviewThisReviews

Again, thank you to everyone here for filling in for me, and especially to Cynthia and Pat for all you do. You keep us working together as a team, maintain the site, and along with my fellow contributors, make it the success story it is.

A Video for Mom

Over ten years ago, probably twenty years now, I created this video for my mom. 

I'll close by posting it here in her honor - It's called "If I Could Fly Tonight" - If you're reading this via mobile, the link to the YouTube video is here.








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11 comments:

  1. Barbara dear, I am so very sorry for the terrible struggles that your beautiful mom, you and everyone else who loves her have been facing. (I empathize deeply; my husband and I just returned from spending a week visiting his parents in Maine, and his dad’s health is failing frighteningly fast.) I’m very glad that your brother was able to purchase your family home, so that it can remain in the family, and that your remarkable mom has come to accept that she can no longer live alone independently - a hard, painful truth to come to terms with. She sounds like such a wonderful, determined, loving and courageous woman - qualities that you embody as well. Sending love, light, hugs, prayers and positive, healing energy to you both, and to the rest of your family.

    I also enthusiastically echo your appreciation of our amazing fellow Contributors on Review This Reviews, who are talented, knowledgeable, and wonderfully collaborative and supportive.

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    1. Margaret thank you for your constant, unwavering support through all these years of changes. I'm so sorry about your father-in-law - it's such a brutal thing to witness and go through - sending you buckets of hugs.

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  2. P.S. I was able to view your video after switching to the desktop view of this post, and I’m so glad I did. What a beautiful, extraordinary message and gift to your mom! I’m sure she cherishes it - and you. 💗

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    1. thank you for the heads-up on this, I did finally add the link to the article as well.

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  3. Wow, Barbara. Your video poem is marvelous. Such special words and the loving feelings that are obviously behind the words. Thank you for your heartfelt message here. And hugs to you and your mom.

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    1. Ms. Elf, thank you so much and also for all your support.

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  4. My dear friend, you are one of the strongest, most beautiful people I have been blessed to have in my life. Your own kindness to everyone around you is exactly what you deserve in return. I'm so glad you found a place of care for your mom and I pray she will find happiness there. I have no doubt you will be visiting often. It is wonderful that your brother was able to buy your family home. Too often, that is simply not an option for families.

    As for our part in your life, we are honored to have you as a member of this group. You have been with us since the first year of our existence and have delighted us with weekly music reviews, decorating tips, self-publishing tips or deep, heartfelt poetry and articles. Covering for you when you need time away is the very least we can do for you in return. We love you!

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    1. Cynthia, how lucky am I to know an amazing, kind, thoughtful, hard working soul like you. There are many traits about your personality that I admire. Your non-judgemental nature is a rare trait to possess these days. I appreciate how you let people be who they are and simply lead with kindness. That's a special gift.

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  5. Barbara, I'm so happy to hear that things are being settled with your mom. It's so hard as they age, when their bodies just don't do what they used to do and their minds are sometimes not there. As caregivers the workload usually falls to us. I'm going through the same thing as you are, my mother will be 90 in jus a couple of weeks. Thank God so far she is still able to care for herself with just a little help. When my hour of need comes for the team to take one for me, I know they will be there too! Barbara, please remember to take some time to breathe for yourself too! We are here and we will always hold each other up! Teams like our are few and far between and all of us are blessed with knowing and caring for each other too! Blessings to you and your family in this new phase of life!

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  6. Barbara, what a beautiful, touching and heartfelt article you have written here. Your video poem is very special.You and your family have clearly been through a lot recently and I am pleased that things are becoming more settled now. It is lovely that your Mum's home can stay in the family with your brother buying it, I wish we could have done that. With regard to the articles, no worries very happy to help out and the beauty of this lovely group of people is that we are there for each other. Sending my Love and Hugs to you and your family.

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  7. Barbara, I'm so sorry to know that you are going through these difficult times. I can honestly say that I know what you are going through because I have been there. I'm honored to know you even if it is online I feel like I know each and every contributor here. Your video is outstanding how lucky we all are to have family and to be able to care for them when they need us.

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