The Moments We Don’t Post About - A Quiet Review

We all have those stretches when we're not posting, not sharing, not updating—and I've realized that the silence can say as much as the noise. 

Sometimes it means someone is going through something they can't quite name yet. Other times, it simply means they're living quietly, peacefully, in their own space.

For me, that quietness feels right most of the time. I primarily use social media to share the things I create—songs, poems, articles, riddles, and the work of other writers I admire. 

Occasionally, I'll post family pictures or something lighthearted, but I keep my personal life private. I don't need to put everything out there. I know many of you share those feelings as well.

There's a lot of emotion attached to what we see online—the perfect families, the perfect homes, the picture-perfect moments that can make life look effortless. 

I don't judge posting, because I post too; in fact, many people find joy and pride in sharing what they love. It's also nice to stay up-to-date.

However, I sometimes worry that I might make someone feel left out, or, on the other hand, that they might be tired of me. So, I keep things simple. Because everyone has a battle, and not knowing what their struggle may be, I err on the side of caution.

Part of it is the world my older generation grew up in. 

Our generation went from dial phones to having the world in our pockets. 

I still remember when a 25-foot phone cord was considered high-tech—it gave you enough freedom to walk into another room and talk privately! What a handy item that was. Lol.

That was our "social media." Now, everyone's connected all the time. But I do admire how naturally younger people navigate that.

 It's their world. But for me, the quieter lane feels more comfortable.

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When Silence Speaks

I've learned that sometimes what we don't post reveals just as much as what we do. 

The silence might mean someone is overwhelmed, reflecting, busy, resting, or simply choosing peace over noise. 

There's a kind of wisdom that comes with knowing not everything needs to be shared, explained, or responded to. Some moments are meant to be felt, not displayed.

Choosing not to post isn't the same as withdrawing—it's simply deciding that certain experiences belong to the heart more than the timeline. 

There's a quiet beauty in holding certain aspects of our lives close, letting them unfold without announcement or commentary.

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When Grief Has No Words

When my dad passed away, I couldn't bring myself to post about it—not for a while. It wasn't that I didn't want support; I just couldn't find the words. The shift inside me was too big, too raw. It felt like an internal earthquake—like a part of me had been quietly rearranged.

Eventually, I was able to talk about it, write about it, and even share it—but not at first. That silence wasn't avoidance; it was reverence. It was me trying to make sense of a life that suddenly felt different.

And that experience taught me something about others as well. We don't always know what's behind someone's stillness online or in life. 

Sometimes, the quiet is protecting something sacred. Sometimes, it's where healing lives.

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The Gift of Quiet

These days, I've come to appreciate quiet as a kind of luxury. Even when the TV's loud or music's playing, there's still a peaceful undercurrent I can feel—a sort of calm I didn't always recognize when I was younger. 

I see quiet as space. Space to breathe, think, and just be.

Silence doesn't mean absence. It's not a lack of connection or care. Its presence, in another form. It's reflection. It's peace.

So, when I scroll past the stream of updates and realize I haven't posted in a while, I don't feel behind. I feel grounded, and I enjoy catching up with family and friends who are sharing. 

The moments I don't post about are often the ones that shape me the most—quietly, deeply, and without an audience.

And maybe that's what makes them so meaningful. 

They remind me that not every beautiful thing has to be witnessed to be real. 

Some of life's most authentic moments happen in the spaces no one sees—where there are no captions, no commentary, and no need to explain.

Note: The author may receive a commission from purchases made using links found in this article. “As an Amazon Associate, Ebay (EPN), Esty (Awin), and/or Zazzle Affiliate, I (we) earn from qualifying purchases.”

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Quality of Life Reviewed

How Finn and I View Quality of Life

I have been thinking a lot lately about quality of life—in particular, how you help others live it a few moments at a time.  When you are training a therapy dog for this work, it's natural to reflect on what makes a life more joyous and pleasurable.

I care about both sides of the equation—what brings light into the lives of those whom we visit and what switches it on for the light-bearers.  I am deeply committed to keeping Finn's light shining brightly in ways that take into consideration his overall health, happiness, and well-being.

These days, I find myself spending differently.  It may seem to those who see Finn being carted around in a new dog stroller or trailer that he is being coddled.  In fact, strangers who cross our path often remark that my dog is spoiled.

Finn Teaches Me To Pay Attention To Everything

Isn't that a funny word—spoiled—especially when applied to an animal who previously had almost nothing and who experienced so few, if any, of a dog's normal pleasures?  Those who know Finn, and the way we are forging a life together where his disabilities do not define or limit him, would never use the word spoiled to describe him.  After all, this is a dog who willingly engages in a ministry of caring that requires so much of him.

The things I provide for Finn are not what they seem.  Outwardly, they are mobility devices: things that allow for transport from Point A to Point B.  Far beyond that, his stroller, K9 Cart (wheelchair), and bicycle trailer are really transformers.

When we seek to lift up the voiceless, whether it be a stroke victim, or a rescue animal, perhaps the best we can do is pay deep attention to the nuances, to the glimmers of how they show us what brings them even temporary pleasure.  Mary Oliver, in her typical eloquence, expressed that attention is the beginning of devotion.

As for Finn, he demonstrates to me on a daily basis that his quality of life is wrapped up in mine.  Wherever I am, that is where he wants to be.  I feel the same way.  I hate to be separated from Finn for even an hour of the day.  Without the devices that minimize his physical limitations, and that maximize his strengths, we would have to be apart far more than either of us desires.

Living Large Along the Rio Grande

Our togetherness—our connectedness—is greatly enhanced by the things that allow our energies to be focused on living fully.  As we rode together along the Rio Grande yesterday, Finn and I were totally immersed in living undivided (ala Parker Palmer).  We were being for ourselves what we intend to be for others.

When I first purchased Finn's bicycle trailer, I promised to share more after we had had the opportunity to take it for a spin.  Here is the link to that initial post: 2-in-1 Dog Trailer.  I realize this is not a typical follow-up review.  I'm not trying to convince anyone to buy anything.

As I started writing today's post, and let my heart lead the way, what moved me were the intangibles.  In essence, this trailer represents more than the sum of its parts (or any features I might choose to extol).  It is freedom, it is exhilaration, it is movement in the direction of our dreams.

How we choose to spend our time and money is deeply personal.  Perhaps the most important thing is how we use what we have to offer up a simple, pure devotion.  We don't have to buy anything to do that, but sometimes there is great pleasure to be known in acquiring that which has the capacity to transform the moments that make another's life worth living.

Quality of life is different for each of us.  We can't define what that is for someone else, but we can divine what that is through our deep presence and the cultivation of a listening heart and spirit.  For Finn and I, immersing ourselves in nature is the way we cultivate a spirit of healing.  The beauty is that that spirit can spill over from one life to another.

It is always about beginning and becoming.  As we roll together along new pathways, this therapy dog team is discovering what it means to live and love wholeheartedly.  And, for us, that is true quality of life.

Note: The author may receive a commission from purchases made using links found in this article. “As an Amazon Associate, Ebay (EPN), Esty (Awin), and/or Zazzle Affiliate, I (we) earn from qualifying purchases.”

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Pet Partners Therapy Dog Team Review

Finn Looks Deeply Into Each Heart He Encounters

When you have a dog with special gifts, like I do (and many of you do), it would be selfish not to let him fully develop and use those wondrous strengths to bring cheer into the lives of those aching for connection and comfort.  Having adopted a joy dog, it just seems wrong to keep all of that great goodness to myself.  In the case of Finn, a dog that was previously kept locked away from the outside world for all of his life (until rescued), the best possible antidote to having been shut away and hoarded is to bring all of his beauty into the light of day. To share Finn, is to share love in its purest form.

In our determination to lift the spirits of others, Finn and I are on a new year's mission.  Though we have engaged in animal welfare and educational outreach work on a daily basis over the past year and a half (since Finn became a part of my forever family), we want to take this work to the next level by going through a rigorous screening process to become a registered therapy dog team.  Anything worth doing, is worth doing to the highest level of professionalism and integrity.  To that end, we have chosen to pursue approval through Pet Partners.

The Pet Partners Organization and Website

There are a number of organizations through which volunteers can seek an official status for their therapy team service.  We chose Pet Partners for several reasons:

• Theirs is a very reputable organization with a well-established history;
• They put animals first;
• Their process provides unlimited opportunities for demonstrating team growth;
• They provide quality resources that enhance both animal and handler skills;
• Their community is one that connects teams of beautiful individuals; 
• They provide insurance coverage for registered teams; and
• Membership can bring a greater credibility to volunteer therapy teams.

Quality of Life is the Soul of the Mission

Once the decision was made to align ourselves with Pet Partners, Finn and I jumped right into our training.  First, I enrolled in the required handler's course.  Taking the course online was a good fit for my learning style and was also the best option given the distance I would have had to drive to attend an in-person class.  I found the course to be very informative and helpful in preparing me to set Finn and myself up for therapy dog team success.  Most importantly of all, it was a reminder that we are in the business of generating quality of life experiences... that we are to exude a reverence for life in all that we do.

Having passed my course, our next step is to visit Finn's veterinarian to get him signed off as healthy and fit for therapy dog consideration.  Because he has a disability, Finn's vet will need to indicate appropriate accommodations (like the use of Finn's K9 cart and/or dog stroller during therapy visits and the assessment process). Once Finn has passed this medical exam, we will be eligible to sign up for our team evaluation session.

Finn and I must prove ourselves both in terms of aptitude and skills.  Our evaluation process seeks first to confirm that both of us have the heart for this service.  I know, without a doubt, that therapy team outreach is a calling for me.  And, having watched Finn display his "people whispering" essence over the many months since his adoption, I feel sure that he is also well-suited for this mission.  Finn leans into this work, rather than merely tolerating it.  That is the key qualifier when it comes to passing our aptitude testing.

Finn is a Willing Student, Teacher, and Therapist

When it comes to skills, Finn and I must demonstrate that our encounters with strangers will be predictably safe.  Finn must be responsive to my guidance at all times. In addition, Finn must show a tender restraint in his dealings with a wide range of individuals.  Before even considering therapy service, I spent over a year socializing Finn to ensure that he developed the confidence necessary to meet with new people in a wide variety of settings.

Finn came to me with no prior training.  He knew no commands when we began our pursuit of this quest.  We currently set aside time every single day to push the boundaries of our learning.  Finn must show a mastery of a number of commands: come, sit, down, stay, and leave it, for starters.  He will be tested in a number of role playing situations common to what he is likely to encounter during visits to hospitals, nursing homes, and other facilities.  Right now, as a part of his preparation, I am focused on immersing Finn into the most common types of experiences he is likely to have when he officially starts his therapy dog work.

You may be wondering what Finn gets out of all of this.  As a mix of two of the most intelligent breeds of dogs, I have found that Finn needs a great deal of stimulation.  He is a combination of working dog breeds.  In my rehabilitation work with rescue dogs, I have seen the importance of providing smart, energetic animals with a job and a purpose.  As a Border collie mix, Finn would normally be involved in herding, or agility, or some form of highly evolved activity engaging both body and mind.  He seems to really enjoy stretching his mental muscles during our training sessions.  Finn's emotional tank also appears to be filled up by all of the attention and affection that comes his way as a result of our interactions with others.

Finn is a whole new dog compared to what he was on the day of his emancipation from the life of a shut-in.  In many ways, I feel his people-whispering nature is what it is due to his having overcome such a barren existence during his early years.  Finn has a way of cracking people's hearts wide open and making them feel things deeply—things that are healthy, and lovely, and healing.  How do I know this?  Well, Dr. Finn began by practicing on me.  A dose of Finn every day has been the best prescription for living a life filled with what matters most.  My desire is to give as many people as possible a taste of this good medicine.

Author's Note: If you enjoy reading about the healing power of animals, you may be interested in my book review about Bella and Jean.  Joy Unleashed tells the story of how they have been transformed while touching lives in beautiful ways.  Another book, Moose! The Reading Dog, will appeal to the children in your life.

Note: The author may receive a commission from purchases made using links found in this article. “As an Amazon Associate, Ebay (EPN), Esty (Awin), and/or Zazzle Affiliate, I (we) earn from qualifying purchases.”

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