When you Can't Remember, What Do You Do?
No I'm not talking about just a little forgetfulness! Everyone has those moments and they are perfectly normal! They happen to everyone at some point in their day. What I'm talking about is a process of the aging population and something that may affect more people now than ever before.
We are living longer and we are staying in better health for the most part.
But and here is the BIG BUT, even if we look after ourselves physically, there are changes that happen in our bodies whether we like them or not.
Many of you know that I have an elderly mom (93) and that up until this past year, she has been fairly healthy and strong. That changed quite dramatically this past winter when she fell ill with a bacterial infection. Once she was in hospital, it didn't take long before she also had the flu and pneumonia!
This started a quick downward spiral that she has not been able to shake off. Fast Forward to today and we are now in a situation where she is in a Long Term Care Facility and no longer able to look after herself. Her mind is no longer all "there". She sometimes lives in the present, but more often lives in the past. Alzheimer's is the name and it's not pretty!
But, we make and take our moments while we can. Last week we celebrated her birthday and thankfully my family was able to make it out to enjoy an afternoon with her.
She was having a "good" day, meaning that she was in the present and when she saw all the grandchildren and great-grandchildren, she remained with us for the whole afternoon.
What a joy it was to have everyone make her feel so special! She was able to talk with everyone and they all had some fond memories to share with her. A blessing for me as I was concerned that she might not be having a good day.
Now we are going to build on that memory so that she has something wonderful to fixate on, rather than some memories of days gone by that are not so nice. She has gone through much in her life and some of it was not pleasant. With her mind, the way it is now, we have to change what she sees as memories and the best way to do that is to have those new beautiful memories right there in front of her on a daily basis.
No she cannot handle new technology, so we use the tools that we have. Pictures in picture frames that she can hold. If need be right up to her nose. Then she stares at the faces smiling back at her and she does remember. Oh she might not remember everything that happened during her party, but she does remember that they are family and they came out just for her! After all she's in the center of the picture.
If you have someone you love that is struggling with their memory, might I suggest that a beautiful picture frame, filled with the loving faces of family, be one gift that will keep on giving pleasure for many months to come.
This is the frame that I will purchase. I like it because it is magnetic (pictures can be swapped out easily), It has a base that is wide enough to stand on it's own. There isn't a lot of "extras" to take her mind off the picture. And with the width of the frame, it stands up on it's own. It's also easy for her to handle if she wants a closer look. You can even make it double sided so you get twice the bang for your buck! What more could you ask for?
When you have to deal with a disease like Alzheimer's, you need to use all the tools possible to make every day a great day! I hope this helps anyone who is facing this diagnosis with their loved ones.
Olivia, your idea to use a family picture as a memory trigger for your mom's failing memory is a wonderful idea. This appears to be the perfect picture frame for it. Very nice.
ReplyDeleteWhat a wonderful memory you all have together! I am sure the picture will be treasured by everyone for many years to come. I always hate to hear about a loved one with Alzheimers. I really do hate the way it robs the individual of their memories, as well as their family. The picture frame looks like the perfect choice.
ReplyDeleteOlivia. My heart goes out to you. I do love your frame idea. I went through the same struggles with my Mom. One thing I did was make her a calendar. Each page had a photo of one family member and it had their name printed under the photo. My Mom would spend hours looking through the calendar. I made it on Shutterfly.
ReplyDeleteOlivia dear, Alzheimer’s is so cruel! It’s important to appreciate and hold onto every “good day” and help your afflicted loved one do the same. I can only imagine how scary it is to know that you are losing your memories of your precious family and friends and the life you lived. Gifting your mom the photo of your recent joyous family celebration is a wonderful idea! I am sure it will help her tap into and savor those good memories and, with luck, help her have more “good days” when she can connect with her loved ones.
ReplyDeleteHi Olivia. What a great idea on the frame. Losing memory is s hard on everyone involved. When my Mom started losing her memory I got a digital frame. I also made a quilt with all her kids on it on. She loved it. She said these are my kids and at night she'd also say she was all tucked in with them.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry you're having to go through this part of life, it's a gift to still have our family late in life, but care and the things they need, added to the guilt we sometimes have (I may just be speaking for myself there). Thank goodness for the good years, and good days we get in this life, because at this stage we need all the endurance it has taught us. Blessings to your mom and family, and what a beautiful family you have.
ReplyDeleteI totally agree with you about using the photos and the magnetic photo frame is a great idea. I love that you are so thoughtful that you considered that your Mum can hold this frame easily and it does not have any distracting features. This is important. We went through this with a family member and it is very difficult. We made sure they had lovely photos of happy memories around them and it did seem to help. Bless you, your Mum and your family.
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