Decades ago, I was a mom to a toddler. Besides the normal things to adjust to, I also had to adjust a behavior response from me. My child was doing normal child things, however one of those normal child movements stirred unsettled feelings from long ago.
My child was safe, however, I didn't want those old feelings stirring around; I pushed them down to try and get through trying to be present in the moment. It worked for a bit, but it kept happening with each witness of my child's normal behavior. I decided to try something different.
I had a guided imagery tape that I listened to, to relax my mind. The guided meditation had the listener imagine a room where the listener could feel safe. Then it had the listener imagine another scene, of something one might like to do or become.
In that second part, I intentionally imagined myself responding to my child with a calm and peaceful feeling, whenever I witnessed the behavior that was a trigger for the old feelings.
I did this on day one. I didn't really notice any difference in how I felt.
Day two was pretty much the same. The cassette tape (This was pre-internet days.) was around 25 minutes long. So I could more easily listen to it when it was nap time for my child. So once a day, was pretty much what worked for me.
I listened to it again on the third day. And the next time that I witnessed the behavior that had triggered my old feelings, they weren't there! I was calm. I felt peaceful. I did it.
It took me three days, but I would have done as many as it would take. I had used guided imagery before, that had reduced pain that I had after surgery. That had been a God send. I knew it could work. I had faith in it.
The cassette that I listened to is not available anywhere, to my knowledge. However there are other options.
One is to do a search on YouTube. I did a search for change behavior meditation and a variety of good sounding options came up.
There are also CDs on Amazon, for guided relaxation cd, that address a variety of things.
Also, the very first guided imagery tape that I had, I made myself. I played some basic piano tunes and recorded that on one tape, and played that while I read the script that I had ccreated, while I recorded both on to another tape.
I had used a variety of books on self hypnosis, and positive self talk, to make a relaxation tape ahead of the surgery that I was scheduled for. This method can take a lot more time and effort, but it was also very nice in that I got to listen to my own voice, and I was in agreement with each and every message and affirmation that was on the cassette.
As you can see, guided imagery can be used for a variety of things. I had a friend that listened to one on pregnancy and childbirth; she did not experience any labor pains and her doctor had to tell her when to push when it was time to give birth.
You can browse a variety of self hypnosis books on Amazon, if you are interested in making something more personal to you. You know best which method and or topic(s) speak most to you.
For some added encouragement, I wrote a poem to help relay this message.
I got over it because I imagined it as so.
Took me three times over three days for it to be true.
But I was determined, no matter how many times it took.
I was determined to make it so.
My child was worth it.
I was worth it.
To be beyond the remnants of the past.
My child deserved having me be present.
I deserved being in the present with a conscious choice of my response.
We were both worth it.
And my imagining made it so.
We were both worth it.
And my imagining made it so.
If you are dealing with anything like this, my love and blessings to you in finding the path that helps you have a healthy transition to your desired outcome. Change is possible.
Cheryl Paton