30 Ways You Can Prevent People From Renting Space in Your Head

Hey there! Life can be quite the rollercoaster ride, filled with ups and downs, challenges, and unexpected twists. 

Sometimes, our heads feel overcrowded with thoughts and concerns that don't serve us well. But fear not; in this blog article, we'll explore 30 self-help ways to prevent people from renting space in your head. 

These practical tips can help you reclaim control of your life and thoughts while embracing kindness despite the day's difficulties. 

So, grab a cup of tea, sit back, and let's dive into this casual review about nurturing our mental well-being.

30 Self-Help Ideas for a Calmer Life

1. Set boundaries: Establish clear boundaries with others to protect your mental space. Learn to say no when something doesn't align with your values or drains your energy.

2. Practice self-compassion: Treat yourself with kindness and understanding, just as you would a close friend. Embrace self-compassion during challenging times and forgive yourself for past mistakes.

3. Limit exposure to negativity: This can be a tough hill to climb, especially when life places you around this energy daily! But when you can, surround yourself with positive influences like uplifting books, supportive friends, or inspiring podcasts. Minimize exposure to negative news or toxic relationships that drag you down.

4. Engage in self-reflection: Take time each day for self-reflection. Journaling or meditation can help you gain clarity, process emotions, and understand your thought patterns better.

5. Focus on gratitude: Cultivate a grateful mindset by acknowledging and appreciating the good things in your life. Regularly reflect on what you're thankful for, big or small.

6. Practice mindfulness: Stay present in the moment and observe your thoughts without judgment. Mindfulness helps you detach from negative thought spirals and cultivates a sense of inner peace.

7. Surround yourself with positive affirmations: Write down positive affirmations and display them where you can see them daily. Repeat them to yourself to counteract negative self-talk.

8. Embrace physical activity: Engage in regular exercise or physical activities that you enjoy. Physical movement releases endorphins, boosting your mood and reducing stress.

9. Prioritize self-care: Make time for activities that replenish your energy and bring you joy, whether it's taking a bubble bath, going for a walk in nature, or enjoying a hobby.

10. Seek support: Reach out to trusted friends, family, or professionals when you need guidance or a listening ear. Opening up and sharing your thoughts can provide valuable perspective and emotional support.

11. Let go of perfectionism: Recognize that perfection is an illusion. Embrace imperfections as part of being human and focus on progress rather than an unattainable standard.

12. Learn from setbacks: Instead of dwelling on failures, view setbacks as opportunities for growth. Extract the lessons they offer and use them to propel yourself forward.

13. Practice deep breathing: Deep, intentional breaths can instantly calm your nervous system and reduce anxiety. Take a moment to breathe deeply and reset during stressful situations. I practice this technique several times a day. The best part is you can do this practically anywhere!

14. Engage in creative outlets: Channel your emotions and thoughts into creative activities like painting, writing, or playing an instrument. Expressing yourself creatively can be therapeutic. This is another one that works well for me. In fact, this one reminds me of a line from a movie called "Where'd You Go Bernadette" - " People like you must create; if you don't, you will become a menace to society."

15. Build a support network: Surround yourself with like-minded individuals who uplift and support your aspirations. Engaging with a supportive community can fuel personal growth.

16. Avoid comparison traps: Comparing yourself to others only breeds insecurity and discontentment. Focus on your journey and celebrate your progress, no matter how small. If you master this, you will lighten your mental load by a ton!

17. Practice forgiveness: Let go of grudges and resentments that weigh you down. Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself, freeing you from the burden of the past.

18. Laugh often: Seek humor in everyday situations and make room for laughter. Laughter is a powerful stress reliever and helps shift your perspective.

19. Disconnect from technology: Take regular breaks from screens and immerse yourself in activities that don't involve technology. Rediscover the joy of being fully present in the offline world.

20. Practice random acts of kindness: Perform small acts of kindness for others without expecting anything in return. Acts of generosity not only benefit others but also nourish your own soul.

21. Cultivate a positive morning routine: Start your day with energizing and uplifting activities. Whether reading, journaling, or exercising, establish a morning routine that sets a positive tone. I start my day with at least a half hour of meditation and prayer.

22. Learn to let go of control: Accept that you can't control everything. Surrender to the flow of life, and focus on what you can control—how you react and adapt.

23. Engage in learning and personal growth: Expand your knowledge, learn new skills, and challenge yourself intellectually. Personal growth empowers you to become the best version of yourself.

24. Practice active listening: Truly listen to others without judgment or interrupting. By offering your full presence, you deepen your connections and better understand those around you. This one takes practice, but it's a freeing exercise to partake in whenever life gives you the opportunity.

25. Find a hobby or passion: Discover activities that ignite your passion and make you lose track of time. Engaging in hobbies can bring a sense of fulfillment and purpose.

26. Embrace solitude: Spend time alone to recharge and reconnect with yourself. Solitude allows for introspection and self-discovery.

27. Practice forgiveness towards yourself: Be gentle with yourself when you make mistakes or fall short of your expectations. Treat yourself with the same compassion you would show a loved one.

28. Set achievable goals: Break down your larger goals into smaller, actionable steps. Celebrate each milestone along the way to keep yourself motivated.

29. Embrace nature: Spend time in nature and soak in the beauty around you. Nature has a calming effect on the mind and helps put things into perspective. For me, it's bike riding or taking a nice walk.

30. Reflect on your progress: Regularly review your personal growth journey and celebrate your progress. Recognizing your achievements reinforces your ability to take control of your life.

Well, my friend, we've reached the end of our delightful review about reclaiming your mental space. Remember, taking control of your life and thoughts is a continuous process requiring patience, self-compassion, and practice!

By implementing one or many of these 30 self-help ways, you can build resilience, maintain a positive mindset, and prevent unwanted tenants from renting space in your head.

About Me:

Hey, I'm just a girl sitting in front of a computer, asking it to love me and help me find the right words (lol). In other words, I'm not a doctor or health professional, just someone who has attended the school of life and decided to share.

I've written several self-help prompt journals, available on Amazon; if you're so inclined, you can check them out here:

I Need Help Thinking PositiveSelf Awareness WorkbookWhy I Feel Good TodayWhy I Feel Bad Today

 

Note: The author may receive a commission from purchases made using links found in this article. “As an Amazon Associate, Ebay (EPN) and/or Esty (Awin) Affiliate, I (we) earn from qualifying purchases.”

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Discovering Your True Self: Reviewing A Workbook for Adults

Introducing the Latest Addition to the StumpedBook Collection: A Self-Awareness Workbook Featuring 196 Detailed Self-Evaluating Questions

Have you felt uncertain, confused, lost, or in need of clarity lately? 

I know several family and friends who are going through challenging times, so I decided to create a healthy tool to help us all navigate this crazy life. 

This latest addition to the StumpedBook collection is hot off the press: A Self-Awareness Workbook is now available on Amazon.

This Workbook Explores the Depths of Our Thinking

This in-depth journal asks 196 intense questions designed to help us review, reflect, and get to know ourselves better. 

Like a diary, this workbook is not meant for prying eyes or to be judged by others; it's simply a tool to help us privately sort out our thoughts and gain a deeper understanding of ourselves.

A Breakdown of the Chapters:

The Benefits of Self-Awareness are Immeasurable

We can potentially boost our self-confidence and resilience, deepen our understanding of our relationships, reduce stress and anxiety, and find greater happiness and fulfillment. 

With this guide by your side, you'll learn how to:

• Gain insight into your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors
• Foster self-acceptance and self-love
• Discover your actual values and beliefs for a clearer sense of purpose
• Cultivate mindfulness and live in the present moment
• Enhance your communication and strengthen your relationships

An Interior View of Chapter 1 - Each Chapter Introduces an Inspirational Quote

Gain Greater Clarity and Direction in Life

Designed to help us better understand ourselves and uncover the truth about who we really are, this personal workbook is meant to be a  tool to help us safely explore our values, beliefs, and motivations. 

Sometimes, we think we know ourselves well enough, but when asked in-depth questions about our experiences and beliefs, we often uncover a deeper sense of self-awareness.

A Look At Some Questions:

Each chapter features a list of questions about the chapter's topic. 

The book measures 8.5 by 11 inches, so there's plenty of room to write an answer for each.

If self-discovery is important to you or someone you love, you can also check out these additional journals in the StumpedBooks collection:

Books by the Author on Amazon Here

Disclaimer: Neither the book nor its author is a medical professional – The Self-Awareness Workbook is strictly for recreational journaling.

Note: The author may receive a commission from purchases made using links found in this article. “As an Amazon Associate, Ebay (EPN) and/or Esty (Awin) Affiliate, I (we) earn from qualifying purchases.”

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I Need Help Thinking Positive - Review of A New Mood Tracking Book

A Workbook to Improve Thoughts & Find Solutions

Are you constantly fighting your feelings to remain positive and centered?

Does life require you to continuously take stock of the good things and push away the bad?

If this sounds like you, you can benefit from the Workbook, "I Need Help Thinking Positive." 

This thirty-one-day Workbook lets you track negative energy and analyze patterns requiring attention, change, or improvement.

Even Mostly Positive Thinking People Will Benefit From This Mood Tracking Book

I consider myself a positive person. In fact, I actively work to be this way! I've been "in training" to control my thoughts since 2013. 

It sounds silly to say, "in training to control my thoughts," but yes, it's real! 

Controlling our thoughts requires mental exercise; just like our body needs physical activity, so does our mind.

Those who know me know that I make a concerted effort not to dwell on problems but rather to seek solutions.

My extensive life experience is what led me to create this Workbook.

My Solution-Oriented Nature is How This Book Came to Be

We've all faced challenging and what seems like insurmountable life issues. However, escaping our troubles and negative thoughts ultimately frees us to live a fresh, new day.

What Does The Workbook "I Need Help Thinking Positive" Provide:

There are 31 days of easy, casual, and light worksheet tracking prompt pages to help you self-analyze your tendency toward negative thinking.

The four worksheets allow you to compile your thoughts and review trends and areas of thought that need improving.

Each day's worksheets give you a chance to break down your thoughts.

Here are the Four Worksheets:

Worksheet Number 1:

The Quick Clipboard Chart Page

This fun page features 20 typically standard daily items that can infect our mood. 

Simply check off the items that influenced your negative thoughts for that day, and give each item one point.

It's not about keeping score!

It's about discovering negative trends and repeated issues that keep throwing off your mood.

Check off your overall mood for that day.

Worksheet Number 2:

In My Own Words - A Place For Personal Notes

This workbook sheet allows you to expand upon the clipboard chart items you selected above.

Write down the additional things that turned your day upside down.

Worksheet Number 3:

The Details About Your Negative Feelings

Briefly describe your negative issues using prompt questions.

The prompt questions are based on the basic principle of who, what, when, where, why, and how.

The page is designed to help you dig deeper into your thoughts and really give them a workout!

Worksheet Number 4

Positive Solution Analysis

What would a workbook be without a place to give serious thought on how to solve your issues and, in turn, improve your attitude?

The four questions on this page are designed to steer you toward analysis and solutions.

Track Your Mood for 31 Days, Then Take Stock of Common Trends

This Workbook is meant to help you examine trends and ultimately make changes to improve your thought process.

After a good month of analysis, look at what issues, people, and things affected you the most.

Knowing our problem is half the battle; however, if one day melts into the next without actively seeking out our conscious and often subconscious negative tendencies, nothing will change.

If you're looking for a change, this Workbook is an easy and fun place to start.

Available on Amazon

Book Tip! You don't have to track 31 days in a row - simply use the book on your negative days. If it takes several months or a year to track those negative thinking days, that's perfectly fine!

The purpose is to seek patterns and trends so you can focus on the areas that need attention or change.

Note: The author may receive a commission from purchases made using links found in this article. “As an Amazon Associate, Ebay (EPN) and/or Esty (Awin) Affiliate, I (we) earn from qualifying purchases.”

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Reviewing My Own Fear Factor

Admitting You Have Fear Is A Beginning

I've been struggling with some personal fear in the last several months. Maybe a review of my journey might help others begin to face their own fears. I know I'm not alone; most of us have fears that overtake us from time to time. With the recent events that have gripped the world, many have found new things to be afraid of. Fear is normal but sometimes we aren't ready to admit that we are afraid. I am a firm believer that admitting something is the first step in beginning to overcome and move forward.

We all have fear, overcoming it is the trick
image courtesy of pixabay.com

What I have realized in the last few days is that I've been almost frozen with fears just below the surface of my consciousness. I haven't been walking around thinking about being afraid or thinking that I was scared but the emotion had been there for quite a while just waiting for me to do something. I've decided to start working on what I'm fearful of; kick those debilitating thoughts to the proverbial curb, so to speak.

There were hints that went unnoticed

As I have worked through some of my feelings in the last few days, I realized that there were some subtle little hints back in December. A tiny little flag was waving in the distance, I just didn't notice it for what it was trying to warn me about. I think it started when I had the idea for a new book that would be about a rabbit. More specifically, an Easter Bunny that did something bad. It was the rabbit that should have alerted me that fear was dwelling deep down in my psyche. 

Now, before you shake your head and think that I've gone off the deep end, let me explain. The message of the spirit animal rabbit is about fear. Real rabbits are fearful little creatures and often become frozen, unable to move, when their fears take hold of them. We humans can experience this phenomenon, too. I missed the significance of a rabbit being so active in my mind. 

About the same time that the idea for the book was consuming my thoughts, my Dad fell and broke his elbow pretty badly. Fear did swell up to the forefront of my thoughts for his well being. There were life threatening complications that obviously caused a great deal of stress and fear for him. Taking care of my Dad sort of pushed the writing completely off of the burner. 

As Dad began to slowly get better, we (the world) find out about the virus and learn words like social distancing and stay in place orders. I will admit the idea of Dad being exposed scared the daylight right out of me. I wasn't fearful for me but for him. Rabbits come into play again. I discovered the book Watership Down, it is all about rabbits. Another hint? I think it might have been. 

I'll fast forward a bit, an idea started niggling in my mind about a totally different story that felt like it needed to be written before I finished the other one. It is a young girl who is called to become the next healer in her village. She is faced with prejudices, an unwillingness to be a healer and some adventures along the way. It is customary in her world for a healer or shaman to be assigned a spirit animal. She doesn't get to choose, the gods decide what she will need. She is appalled when she meets the hare (big rabbit) that will travel with her in her journey of becoming what she was destined to be. Of all the creatures for the gods to give her they give her a rabbit. What the heck good is that going to be? She is supposed to gain wisdom from an animal that is afraid of it's own shadow? Hmmm!

There it is again, a rabbit consuming my mind! Finally the light bulb comes on in my addled brain. Rabbits in my thoughts, looking up rabbit behavior, real rabbits hopping around in my yard. I can't get away from the freaking rabbits! Fear is the message of the rabbit. Do I have some fears to overcome? Well, apparently, I do.

What are my fears?

Turns out, I have several that I have ignored for a while. I guess that is why the rabbit has come as a messenger. I can't move forward until I face some of them head-on and let them go. I won't go into what they are exactly, that is a little too personal. Suffice it to say, I have identified some big ones and have begun to work on hopping around them. As I work on my journey, I have found a new motto. It is summed up best on this coffee mug:

Click Here to See The Other Side of Fear Mug

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15 Additional Distracting and Calming Things to Do During Quarantine

15 Distracting Things to Do During Quarantine

Last week I wrote about ten calming and distracting things you can do during these crazy quarantine times.

This week I'll add another 15 suggestions for you.

1. 5000 Piece Puzzles

Ok, maybe just 1000 pieces will do. Family members of mine have tackled this one already.

2. Read the Hilarious Twitter Hashtag #QuarantineLife

The top tweets will crack you up. My mom and I were in stitches reading them!

3. Crossword Puzzles

Do you love to do crossword puzzles? If so, get out the book.

4. Redecorate a Room

That may involve trips to the store, so you may be restricted on what you can actually do. But hey, if you can even tackle one or two aspects of a redecorating project, good for you! Here's a brief helpful video on how to mix patterns in home decor:

5. Reorganize Your Cupboards and Closets

To some people, this is therapy, to others torture. Either way, get it done! If you've been putting off dealing with the disaster behind your closet door, now is a good time to get 'er done.

6. Learn a New Language

There are several common APPs you can use to learn a new language. Here are a few you can check out: Babbel, DuoLingo, and MemRise.

7. Learn to Play Piano Via an App

Yes, there's an APP for that. Here are two Apple Apps you can check out - Flowkey and Note Quest.

8. Assemble All Those Poems You've Written, And Self-Publish Your Book

Do you have a box of personally written poems that need a permanent place? How about writing that poetry book you've always wanted to write. I crossed that one off my bucket list last year and self-published my first book. I've since published five more and am working on my sixth. Here are some things I've learned along the way that may help you get started.

9. Crafts - DIY Crafting

I know, this is obvious. Knit, sew, or crochet those virus blobs. If you have friends who also enjoy crafts, turn it into a game. Tackle the same project and whoever finishes first gets a prize - maybe a book.

10. Learn Calligraphy

Family members of mine did this one the other day. You can get multiple tutorials on YouTube.

11. Coloring Books are Fun, Even for Adults

This is one I plan to do to relax. Coloring can be utterly satisfying. Color with the kids or you can always buy grown-up coloring books online.

12. Turn Your Life Into a Reality Show

If you're bold, go for it. Vlog your life and upload your daily routine to your social media audience. If you don't have an audience, you could end up with one fast lol - be careful!

13.  Take Cooking Lessons Online

Head over to Youtube and start watching all those addictive cooking videos! Have you always wanted to learn French Cooking? Now's your chance.

14. Assemble and Sort All Your Photos on Your Laptop & Phone

Sort all your photos and store them on a USB or in the cloud. Or create a family wall of photos - finally frame and display all those family favorites.

15. Handwrite Letters to Your Family

Handwrite a letter. Don't type it. Handwrite it and mail it to mom, dad, grandma, grandpa, or the kids. Include the kid's drawings or photos as well. Yes, you can do this online, but there's something very special about getting something like this in the mail.

Note: The author may receive a commission from purchases made using links found in this article. “As an Amazon Associate, Ebay (EPN) and/or Esty (Awin) Affiliate, I (we) earn from qualifying purchases.”

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10 Calming and Distracting Things to Do

Calming and Distracting Things to Do

With all that's going on in the world, some distraction is in order.

When you've had your fill of news, and consumed as much info as you need for a day or so, here are some things you can do to take your mind off the world.

1. Listen to Music

Yes, I know, that's predictable! You've heard it a million times. The principle of Occams Razor applies right now (the simplest solution is often the best or right one - paraphrasing). With that in mind, turn off the TV for a while or forever, and pick a few songs that speak to you.

Here, let me recommend a fantastic song for country music fans; have you listened to Blake Shelton and Gwen Stefani's song "Nobody But You?" If not, take a minute. It's a perfect song to cuddle up to or think about the one you love, and what's most important in life.

Lyrics
"Don't have to leave this town to see the world
'Cause it's something that I gotta do
I don't wanna look back in thirty years
And wonder who you're married to
Wanna say it now, wanna make it clear
For only you and God to hear
When you love someone, they say you set 'em free
But that ain't gonna work for me"

It's currently my favorite country music song - hope you enjoy it.

2. Watch Inspirational Videos

This is a little self-serving; here's one of my most recent video-poems. Written about a month ago, it's about finding clarity and calm in life.

This year I've vowed to work on body, mind, and spirit. The video speaks to the spirit side of life. I call it Living in Light. If you need a little calm, mixed with a teaspoon of hope and faith, this one is for you.

3. Cooking - Do You Love to Cook?

If you love to cook there are a ton of recipes from our writers here on ReviewThisReviews. Be sure to check out the recipe section. You can find it here.

4. Puzzles and Games

You've already thought of this right? Board games, riddle games, and puzzles. If you're not in the mood to play family games, distract yourself with riddles. Yep, I happen to write them. Here's one, can you solve it?

Find more at StumpedRiddles.com

5. Dance in Your Kitchen

Oh, that sounds really dumb, doesn't it? It's not. Turn up the radio and dance. The exercise is good for us physically and mentally. Who cares how silly we look. Blast your favorite music and go for it.

6. Exercise

If your health permits and you have exercise equipment, use it. If not, there are plenty of yoga and exercise videos on Youtube and TV you can follow. I like this basic exercise video for Arms. This lady features short easy-to-do videos.

7. Draw, Paint or Create

Now is a good time to tackle that book you've always wanted to write. If books aren't your thing, sketch or paint. Stepping back in time, it's said that the plague may have influenced Shakespeare to create his best works. You can read about it here.

If you've wanted to write a book, but aren't sure where to start, I've written several articles with tips from my own personal experience of writing my first books. You can find them here:

A. Getting Started on Your eBook B. Confessions of a Newbie Self Publisher C. 5 Helpful Tools from a Newbie Self Publisher D. More Tips From a Newbie Self Publisher

8. Binge Watch TV

Oh my, that's too much couch time, but if you can't help yourself, here are some comical tips on what not to do when you binge-watch.

9.  Read a Book

If you're looking for a book to read, check out the book reviews by the Contributors on this site. There are some serious book-readers here! You can scroll through the reviews by starting here.

10. Express Your Love to Family and Friends

Don't hold back. Say it out loud or by text or phone if you have to, but say it. Say it over and over, and even say it for others to hear. Spread love - let your voice be heard.

My own Mind, Body and Spirit tips for 2020 are reviewed here.

Note: The author may receive a commission from purchases made using links found in this article. “As an Amazon Associate, Ebay (EPN) and/or Esty (Awin) Affiliate, I (we) earn from qualifying purchases.”

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Option Ocean: Navigating the Sea of Possibility A Book Review

                                                           
Image by RENE RAUSCHENBERGER from Pixabay

Option Ocean: Navigating the Seas of Possibility is categorized in the Christian Devotional category on Amazon.com.  

 **Warning, Warning**  It is more than just a book to be read, it is a workbook!   Just published on May 28th 2019, it is the second book in a set of inspirational books written by Kristi Bridges.  Unlike other books (like a good novel), this book is so much better if you take the time to read it as a "guide"!  

How long or how quickly you go through this book, is entirely up to you.  But, if you are searching for meaning in your life, this book should be read slowly and very mindfully.  Each day will bring a new way of looking at your life.

Where most books are broken down into "chapters", Option Ocean: is broken down  into "days".  That is one reason I suggested that it's not a book to be read in a hurry.  It's best taken one day at a time.  There are lessons  for us as we grow in  devotion, understanding  and prayer.  We will take what we understood in the first day and build on that foundation as the month unfolds for us.  Each day there is a "theme" and then there are questions for us to ponder.  Personally I think this book is better when we are prepared to share, with ourselves, the insights and questions that will come to our minds. We will open up our physical, mental and spiritual understanding of God.  To that end I would encourage anyone to have a journal ready.  Use your own style of writing to make points to consider, passages to revisit, and questions that come to mind.

The world today has little time for us to ponder those things that are of a spiritual nature. We are constantly encouraged to live for today, live in the moment and not to think about anything beyond that. Navigating the Seas of Possibility encourages us to live in the moment of course, but to also listen and see the Hand of the Almighty at work in our daily lives. 

Christians are called to do much more than that.  We are called to have a personal relationship with our God.  To proclaim Him in our lives and our actions and be inspired by His Words to us in the Bible.  We are called to worship and adoration to the God who created all things and calls us each by our name.

As Christians we can find living life mindful of God,  hard to do sometimes.  Especially when things happen around us that are not nice, kind or loving.  We can lose our way so easily.  That's why it's nice to have some help and guidance for our individual journeys.  Everyone walks their own path to God through all the trials and tribulations of life.  Your way and my way might be completely different.  But our ultimate goal is the same.  To come to know the will of God in our lives and to give thanks for all we have.

                                       
Image by John Hain from Pixabay
Navigating the Seas of Possibility would be a great book for any Christian that is questioning their faith.  It's not a book just to be read, but rather, it is called to be "lived".  It is a workbook for  Christians, all Christians.  After reading the introduction you will already see that this book is more than words on a page or a story to keep our interest.  It is a call to action, a call to prayer, understanding, and a call to search for God in our lives.  It is also a call to remember Gratitude, Love, Peace and Joy!

                                       
Image by Jeff Jacobs from Pixabay


My hope is that during the summer months, when you get a chance to sit back and relax, read one day of Option Ocean: Navigating the Seas of Possibility.  Use what you have learnt and keep a journal.  I bet there are lessons for everyone, but most importantly for you!  This is your life and He knows your name.  

** I was given a copy of this book to read prior to publication, by the author, in exchange for my review.  The opinions stated are my own and no coercion was involved.

Note: The author may receive a commission from purchases made using links found in this article. “As an Amazon Associate, Ebay (EPN) and/or Esty (Awin) Affiliate, I (we) earn from qualifying purchases.”

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No Fourth River Book Review

No Fourth River book review.

I just finished reading No Fourth River by Christine Clayfield. As soon as I read the final word, I turned to my laptop to begin writing this review. Christine has shared her life with us - from her very painful beginnings to the moment she took control of her own life and beyond. She shows us how she created safety, happiness, love, and success and assures us that we can do the same. 

Christine was born into a family in which her father's parenting style was over-the-top abusive. At the tender age of 5 (just old enough for kindergarten in the US), she was sent to a boarding school with nuns who not only shamed and tormented Christine but encouraged the other students to do the same. So it is no surprise that Christine turned to sex and alcohol as a teen. Then things turned really bad. 

No Fourth River by Christine Clayfield

Set in Belgium and the UK, Christine describes her life from age 5 to 58. She describes how the actions and inaction of others leave scars - physical and emotional. 

No Fourth River's Cast of Characters

Christine's Father - Christine's father is a wealthy businessman and well-known in their village. We are given the impression that he's ruthless in business and clearly he's ruthless in his expectations for his wife and children. 

Christine's Mother - Christine's mother conspires with the children to have happier times, to hide some things from their father, and provide for their material needs. And yet she is unable or unwilling to stop the abuse.

"Mum regularly got the worst of my father, and she never seemed to be able to please him for long, although she never gave up trying"

"I remember my mother telling me once, in later life, that she stayed in the relationship because of my father's money."

Christine's Brothers - Of the 5 children in the family, all are boys except Christine. The children take their roles in the family. Kane takes the role of being most able to meet dad's expectations and avoids some of the physical punishments. However, it is clear that even he has not escaped unscathed.

Christine's Husband - After Christine leaves home and is living independently, yet constantly in the realm of poor choices, she marries her 1st husband.  During that marriage she is nearly murdered. She decides "enough is enough". Christine finds her voice, and the trajectory of her life changes. 

Shame & Doubt - Shame and Doubt are so tangible in this story that it as though they become part of the list of main characters. Humans make decisions, usually horrible decisions, based on Shame and Doubt. Christine was not immune to this. Through the story she describes how shame and self-doubt initially controlled her but then how she learned to take control of herself and her life - relegating shame and doubt to the shadows. 

Well-meaning friends and miscellaneous onlookers - I have learned in my experiences at work and in life that it often seems easier to take the physical abuse from the abuser than the hurtful things they say. And sometimes, even more hurtful, are the reactions (real or imagined) of friends or onlookers.

"I felt their eyes on me and their pity and anger. It felt terrible to be so exposed like this, for people to see how my husband treated me."

There are many other very important characters in this story, but I don't want to risk any spoilers. I want you to discover these important people naturally as the story unfolds. To learn how Christine finds her true self and not only survives but launches into a life of her creation.



This book begins with the harsh realities of child abuse, teen rebellion, and domestic violence. The subject matter is TOUGH. There are no gratuitously violent scenes in the book. However, there are many violent scenes described. I felt nothing was told in a shocking manner just for the shock value and to sell the story. But the truth of this subject matter cannot be told without exposing the cruelty that occurs when people choose to abuse. The lessons can't be learned without honesty - even if that honesty is what nightmares are sometimes made of.

Christine Clayton describes the transition from the abuse and turmoil to her life as a happily married wife, successful business woman, public speaker and advocate. She ends the book with an afterword that includes some of her philosophy, why she doesn't blame her abusers, the reality of some of her health issues as a result of the abuse, and 12 valuable messages meant to help others.

Christine writes: 

"If I can change one person's life who will read this book, I will have achieved my goal. I have shared my life experiences and hope to make a difference in someone else's life" 

Having worked in the field of social work for over 20 years, I am quite sure that her story, her style of telling it, and her sharing of the lessons learned will help many people in a variety of ways. I highly recommend No Fourth River. This is the most important story I've read in quite some time.


Note: I received a copy of this book from the author for review. However, all comments are mine and based on my honest reaction to the book.

Note: The author may receive a commission from purchases made using links found in this article. “As an Amazon Associate, Ebay (EPN) and/or Esty (Awin) Affiliate, I (we) earn from qualifying purchases.”

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Social Media For Writers Reviewed

Authors Need To Market Their Work

Writer Image courtesy of Pixabay.com

One of the gifts that I just received for Christmas was the book Social Media For Writers. My daughter thought it might be helpful for me to brush up on the skills needed to be successful with the use of Social Media in regards to my marketing strategy in order to sell my books. 

If you are a regular reader of Review This, you are probably aware that I published my first Cozy Mystery novel in October of 2017. Then in November I published my second book in the series. It isn't like in the past when if you were lucky enough to find a publisher for your books who offered you a contract. Back then if you were a writer with a large publishing firm, they did a lot of the marketing for you. A lot of us have gone the self-publishing route which means that all of the marketing is up to us, the author. Even if we had a big name publisher we would need to market our own work. Most publishing companies of today only spend their advertising money on well known authors (who kind of don't need it but that is another topic all together!). 

Those of you who know me probably think that I probably already understand how to use social media because this isn't my first rodeo with a writing gig. I might have published my first fictional work but I've been around the block several times when it comes to promoting my online writing ventures. I do understand the basics of social media and use it regularly but I will admit not to its fullest potential. The game is different for authors in particular and let's face it...the way to use these social networks changes on a regular basis. How many times have you reached a point where you feel that you have figured it all out, to have one or two of the popular sites change the playing field? I'm guessing a lot!

So, I really appreciate my daughter gifting me this book! I'm reminding myself of the basics while being able to come up with a strategy for my writing and promotions.

Authors And Social Media

What I like about this book by Tee Morris and Pip Ballantine is that it is written in an easy to understand format. As I said, I'm not new to social media but even if I were the content would be easy to understand. They do a really good job of explaining how each option works and best practices for a writer to use on each platform. They cover blogging, podcasting, Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr, Google+, YouTube, Pinterest and Instagram. Do they recommend that you try to use all of them? Actually, no. They understand that if one were to try to have a solid presence on all of them; there would be no time for the actual writing of the books. They suggest that you pick the three that you are most comfortable with and go from there.

As I am studying this book, I feel confident with their advice. They are both authors in their own right and I can tell by the content that they actually use social media to promote not just this book but a series of books that they have co-authored together. I don't know about you but for me that is huge. I'm sure that you have experienced the same as I have over the years with getting advice from a so called expert who has less experience than you do when the dust all settles.

I really like that the authors break down the formats and give realistic time frames for using them. Having experience with most of these social media networks, I can tell that they are giving good information on the time that can be invested in working with the different options. They are even honest about having invested a lot of time on a few of them and figuring out that for their needs and their time constraints, it wasn't worth it. That doesn't mean that you will come to the same conclusion because we all have different styles and comfort levels. I do appreciate their honesty in the results for themselves!

Now, I realize that not all of you are planning to write a novel or a work of non-fiction; that being said I do know that many of you have a strong online presence either contributing here on Review This or your own sites. Perhaps you contribute on another multi-user site. My point is that much of the information will be beneficial for your online work as well.

I know in the past, I have tried to have a presence on all of the social media sites. It doesn't take long to get burnt out trying to keep up. Reading a book like Social Media For Writers is helpful in reminding us of what it is we want to accomplish and the audience we are trying to reach. This book gives some realistic advice on coming up with a strategy that is not overwhelming and that with the proper effort put forth should offer a successful result. It is not going to happen overnight but with dedication and a good plan, it can happen.

I am finding this book very helpful and I think that many of you will, also. I know I am changing my strategy after having read it. I am going to concentrate on three platforms and not worry about all of the others. How about you? If you were going to limit your marketing to three platforms, which would you be willing to invest your time in?

Note: The author may receive a commission from purchases made using links found in this article. “As an Amazon Associate, Ebay (EPN) and/or Esty (Awin) Affiliate, I (we) earn from qualifying purchases.”

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The Art of Tolerance

Get For All Good on a Pillow

The Virtue of Tolerance: Making an Effort with Empathy, Kindness, Goodness, and Grace

Getting Better, with Tolerance.

A personal saying, 'Kindness breeds Tolerance' ...Tolerance requires an accepting mind and a willing participant. It's not a spectator's virtue. To see life from another person's perspective suggests that we are attempting to live outside of ourselves, to mentally travel the journey of another soul.

This world is our home, we all live here, and we all deserve the best from each other.

Below you'll find a few of my works on Tolerance, Perspective, & Self Awareness.

I hope all your flowers grow

TOLERANCE

Hold my hand

then judge me

Or better

Feel my sameness,

Look me in the eye

then tell me I don't matter

Or better

See I am you,

Sit at my dinner table

Sharing food and conversation

then tell me I'm not worthy

Or better

Understand my hunger is like yours,

Take a walk with me

then hate where I live

Or better

Understand my plight,

Watch my children play

and tell me they are expendable

Or better

Love them as your own,

As I hold your hand

Look in your eyes

Eat at your table

Walk with you

Understand your plight

And watch your children play

I know I want to be better too

by Barbara Tremblay Cipak

SELF AWARENESS

I can't judge you

I'm too busy judging myself

I can't hate you

I'm too busy learning about myself

I can't envy you

I'm too busy competing with myself

I can't expect anything from you

I'm too busy expecting the best from myself

I can love you

By loving myself

by Barbara Tremblay Cipak, Copyright

PERSPECTIVE

From Your Perspective

What do you want me to know about you

I'm interested in your life

You're journey is my teacher

I'm wrong about so much

How can I make your day better

Show me what I can do

I am a willing spirit

by Barbara Tremblay Cipak

COMPASSION

Youtube Channel - DragedaPoemsLyrics

Note: The author may receive a commission from purchases made using links found in this article. “As an Amazon Associate, Ebay (EPN) and/or Esty (Awin) Affiliate, I (we) earn from qualifying purchases.”

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